It's OK If This Is Becoming a Bit Compulsive ...

Housecleaning - Inside and Out

Housecleaning can become a bit compulsive.

And this is really ok.

It's especially ok if the house really needs to be cleaned, as mine has.

Last year, between March 21st (Vernal Equinox) and April 1st, I took stock.

I realized that my energy was low. ("I can't even spell 'marketing plan'," I wrote in my journal.) Unveiling was close to launch date - not yet quite there, but I could really, realistically see it coming. (And at that, it still took another three months before I held the first physical Unveiling copies.) But as the launch-hour approached, life (and my overall energy) seemed to be slowing down.

This sense of how much more difficult it is to complete a major life transition is not unusual at all. There is even an analogy to how things work out in nature: physicists know the phenomenon called "critical slowing down" - the fact that just before a system changes state (water to steam, for example), we can put in a whole lot of "energy" and still not see much difference. It just becomes harder and harder to gain a single degree of temperature. Any woman who has borne children knows that the last few months - and weeks and days and hours - are the most difficult. There's a time (so I'm told) when you just want that baby born, no matter what. And for those of us who've taken on any project, we know that the early "blocking out" stages can happen quickly - from building a house to painting a picture to changing our body shape. It's filling in the details that takes so much time.

Add to this one more important factor: when we're getting close to the "finish line" for any big life project, we can't let go. It might be completing a book, a degree, a renovation project. And simultaneously, the "project" - whatever it is - consumes our life. There really is no time left for anything else.

The point is: We do transform our lives. We do take on what are truly heroic quests and challenges. And while we are doing these - and going through the last very difficult stages - the rest of our lives unravel. The house gets dirty. Important relationships are not maintained. (At least, not with the diligence that we usually muster.) This would be the year that the vegetable garden gets sparse and weedy, and we don't even think about putting up vegetables that summer.

Balance is lovely. Balance feels good, and so does a clean house, a set of well-maintained friendships, and a beautiful, thriving vegetable garden. But when we are doing a Heroic Quest, we forsake balance.

Balance is something that we recapture later. And it may take time. In my case, it's taken me a year - that's right, a full year - to get the house and grounds cleaned up. And I've really, truly been working pretty hard at it. Most especially, over this month of February.

So you haven't heard much from me this last month. I love you just as much as ever. And I've been thinking about you while cleaning out the storage room. (And when I swept mouse dung and dust off the high utility shelves - and got whif-fuls of it, and came down with allergy-induced headaches later - well, lesson learned for next time.)

Cleaning, de-gunking, and organizing - restoring balance, harmony, and joy - takes time. This is a transition. Not quite a Quest, but a post-Quest mop-up.

So if we have been Questing lately - we need to recognize that post-Quest, it takes a little time to get life back in order.

And have you been Questing? Do you want to know more about a Heroine's Quest (versus the classic Hero's)? Learn more: online radio talk show on the Heroic Quest with moderator Dennis Tardan.

"Pathworking" Involves Cleaning - At All Levels

Pathworking - Starting the New Year, Cleaning Out Our Lives

The "new year," effectively, begins right about now. Really, it started last week - February 2nd. This was the Feast of Candlemas (the Festival of Lights). It was Imholc (in the older traditions), and Groundhog Day (in the newer ones). In Druidic times, this was the true start of the "new year." Other cultures, notably the Chinese, start their new year with a celebration around this time of year. Truly, our juices don't begin to flow - we don't begin to shake off some of winter's hibernation - until we start to get more light in the sky, beginning in early February.

Now on a simple girlfriend-to-girlfriend level, I'll let you know: January was hard. I didn't get out, and didn't party. Instead, I focused down and worked my way through that month. And the results are in; they're good, and I'm really pleased to have put in all that effort.

There's another thing that I started - right after Christmas (right during the "Twelve Days of Solstice," in fact). I got started on paperwork clean-ups. And as you probably know, this is a long chore. There's probably not a one of us who can burn through our entire paperwork stack in just one evening, or even a weekend.

For me, it's been multiple rounds of wrestling with the "Paper Tiger"; the piles, bags, and boxes of papers that have accrued over the months (and even prior years). Frankly, I feel that basement and garage clean-outs are easier.

Which brings me to: Basement and garage clean-outs. Specifically (because our garages are still pretty cold right now) to basement clean-outs. And I've been cleaning out mine (with the help of a sturdy and dedicated housemate). We've put in three "sessions," and have made a dent. Not done, but a good strong dent. We feel encouraged. We feel that progress has been made, and that if we stay with this, we'll even be done. (Some day.)

The point is: Basement cleaning - and paperwork cleaning - and life-cleaning of all sorts - is the kind of thing that we start right around now. And it's part of our Unveiling process. It's an integral part of pathworking.

In Chapter 19 of Unveiling, "A Sacred Time, A Sacred Space," I write:

After we find and designate our sacred space, we cleanse. We cleanse thoroughly. This is important.

This is the actual physical cleaning of any aspect of our lives; our basements, our closets, our stacks of paperwork or sets of unanswered emails. It can be physical; if we are into body "cleanses," this is often the time that we take on a little bit of a juice fast or introduce some tonics into our lives. (Even without that degree of rigor, we show more interest in fresh salads, and less of a need for chocolate cream-cheese brownies. Well, that depends on the weather.)

At the same time, whenever we take on some cleansing process in our physical worlds, or even in our bodies, we are allowing the same process to take place inside our minds. We begin our "inner house-cleaning" - as I described in Chapter 28, "Going Deeper." During one of my own Inanna-descents, I found that cleaning out my "inner basement" led to cleaning out deeper and deeper levels - none of which were pretty! (In fact, it felt like excavating sub-basements filled with swamp-mold and muck!)

Yet this is one of the most important things we can do. In fact, we have an archetype whose purpose is to help us with just this! This is our inner Hestia. Hestia was the ancient Greek goddess of "hearth and home." She was not into the relational aspects; she was not so much about the great love. Instead, she was more one for keeping the garden tended, pickling the vegetables, and cleaning the kitchen afterwards.

Hestia doesn't get a lot of attention. Yet our Hestia mode is one of the most useful things that we have going for us. She keeps the underpinnings of our lives together - the day-to-day things that lets our Amazon conquer new worlds, our Isis/Empress have her nurturing time with children and friends, our High Priestess to have contemplation, and our Hathor to have time for sensuality and for play.

Did I mention that our Hestia doesn't get a lot of respect? More to the point, she doesn't get a whole lot of recognition. I didn't even mention her in Unveiling!

That's because I didn't understand her until after the book was nearly done. In the ensueing months, though, I've had a better understanding. And I wrote about her recently as a core archetype in the Unveiling blog; see Hestia and also - for a birds-eye view of our complete archetype set, The Unveiling Archetypes and the Jungian Dimensions. (Look for Hestia in the top right quadrant of the figure; she's in between the High Priestess and Empress/Isis.)

Cultivating our inner Hestia is an important part of our pathworking; our day-to-day journey. When we do the practical things on the outer, our minds free up to do the inner work. "Wax on, wax off," Mr. Miyagi advised young Dan in the original Karate Kid movie.

And a special point: The deeper our "internal cleaning," the deeper we go into the back corners and stored piles of "stuff" in our everyday, practical lives. The inner and the outer aspects reflect each other. Before we are fully empowered to glow in our newly-polished Hathor mode, or before we reach the true nuggets of wisdom that we gain from our High Priestess, we spend hours cleaning and scrubbing the pantry, digging out the basement, and taking carloads of things to Goodwill. The path to beauty, peace, freedom, and joy begins with cleaning up stacks of old bills and emails!

One final word: The time to do this is now. I hate it for you, dear one, and I hate it for me as well. But the best time to get this "housecleaning" done - inside and out - is before the robins arrive, before the trees are green, and before we are so in love with the love that's going on around us!

To your joyous unfolding and the sturdy progress of your own pathworking -

With much love - Alay'nya

Recharging Our Eating Plan with Healthy Foods (And Welcoming in the New Year!)

How to Kick-Start a Healthy Eating Plan for the New Year

Can I just say this straight?

Diets don't work.

Diets, or any sense of deprivation - any sense of "I can't have this" or "I can't have as much of this as I'd like" - just doesn't work as a way to live our lives.

May I also say: this is still early February. We are just coming out of hibernation. And like good old bears, we still want to "carb up."

To make things worse, we're being bombarded with magazines showing us images of barely post-pubescent young women; those who have the ultra-firm flat tummies, the carefully sculpted bottoms, and scarcely a half-ounce of extra body fat.

Nuts to that, I say! (In fact, nuts are a really good idea - protein, carbs, fiber ... but okay, that's a different post.)

Sauteed Brussels Sprouts with Lemon and Pistachios; Bon Appetit, February, 2008. Recipe by Dan Barber. Photograph by Lisa Hubbard

Right now, we're barely getting out of our caves.

We're a few days post Imholc/Candlemas/Groundhog Day. (Pick your holiday of choice.) There's no question; we are starting to feel a bit better. There's more light in the sky now. The days are just a bit longer. And we're having an early spring. The daffodils are up; the trees show signs of early budding.

But it's still February.

So the big question is: How to recharge our diets and exercise patterns?

The answer is: Gravitate towards that which makes us feel good. So instead of forcing ourselves towards anything - especially anything that is a little stringent or unnatural - we instead invite ourselves - gently and lovingly and with the greatest nurturance and care possible - to do those things that will help us feel better.

This often means cooking our own food, from scratch. Using the best possible natural ingredients that we can find - especially healthy fresh vegetables.

But if you're like me, then breaking off whatever you're doing sometimes just seems like too much work. And cooking up anything when getting home from work seems like way too much effort.

So here's what I'm doing to get myself going; you might want to do the same:

• Put up good-foods pictures where you'll see them. Right now, I'm looking at a picture of brussels sprouts. Yes, brussels sprouts - with pistachios and lemon. And I'm about to pull this picture out of the magazine, trim the edges neatly, put it into a plastic sleeve holder, and tape that to one of my kitchen cupboards. And I'll do the same with a picture of a fresh salad of mixed greens (when I find one). And similarly with one or two more really invigorating and inspiring recipes. Why? Because we're visual creatures. We respond to stimulation. And at this time of the year, in particular, we crave visual, tactile, and olfactory stimulus. So - we provide ourselves with stimulus and inspiration, and action follows.
  
• Pre-process your raw veggies as soon as you get home What can you say to a raw cauliflower? Not much, really. So as I'm unpacking the bags of raw veggies, I try to do what I can to get them ready for later cooking. I take the leaves off the cauliflower, and core out the bottom end. And I try to do other things that make it possible to get meals together just a bit more easily later in the week. The biggest drawback to eating more healthily - that means, more veggies (both cooked and raw) - is that they take more prep time. A whole lot of washing and cutting and fussing. The other thing that seems to work is to take the veggies, a cutting board, and necessary knives and bowls in to watch some TV. This is a sort of "low-energy" task - something to do when a little too tired to do anything really energetic or creative, but not quite completely zoned out. It's a good way to prep veggies for salads, stir-fries, soups, and other uses.
  
• Prioritize veggie-intensive food preps for early in the day, when there's still some energy. I try to plan and prep whatever my meals will be as early in the day as possible. At this time of year, this often means a soup or a slow-cooked meal. If I can get this started early - before getting into the other tasks and priorities - then the food is ready later on, when I'm hungry. I may even pre-prep a salad, and put it in the fridge with a cover over the dish. And also even make a little mustard/honey/olive-or-grapeseed oil/balsamic dressing. Always tastes better than the store-bought. I'll make this up and store in the fridge, and this minimizes reaching for the store-bought back-up dressing. (Think about this: You're more likely to purchase quality ingredients when you make your own dressing. And you're more likely to add in little extra heath-giving "extras" when you make it yourself.)
  

That's it, really. Focus on the feel-good foods; especially the veggies. And make the cream-cheese brownies when you need them; if you have enough in the way of brussels sprouts and salads, everything else takes care of itself.

One final thing: With warmer days, it's time to get outside once again. I'm looking forward to a lengthy walk today; a couple of miles at least. As soon as the sidewalks or streets are ice-free, and the wind is not so chill, it's time to get some fresh air and exercise. And being outside is so much more fun and invigorating than being on a treadmill in a gym!

To your health, happiness, and an overall glorious New Year! - yours - Alay'nya

The Most Important Thing ...

Release the Sacrum to Release Personal Energy

The most important thing we can do - in our dance training, or in whatever body art that we practice - is to release our sacral area. This allows energy to flow. (It also allows our movements to be more natural and spontaneous.) By "sacrum," I really mean the entire sacral area - our sacro-ileac joints, the lumbar-sacral connection (and the lumbar area itself), and the sacral-coccyx area.

Yoga is probably the best way to start the release pattern, along with hip flexion stretches. Tai chi and chi kung-type moves also help to release this area, particularly if we pay attention to how we are using our natural intrinsic strength to hold ourselves upright. See Peter Ralston's work for more information and teaching on this.

"Circulating the Body of Light" - Works Best After Ch'i Development

Cultivating Intrinsic Personal Energy (Ch'i) - Essential to "Circulating the Body of Light"

Circulating the body of light is an esoteric energy practice; sort of at the early-graduate-school ability-level. It is something that all of us who do energy work typically include as part of our practice.

All too often, those of us who do intentional and directed energy work (i.e., "magic") focus on visualization-style practices. This is important and good, but it leaves out two important components:

• 1) Actually creating and building up our internal energy - so that we have something "worth the play," and
• 2) Learning to move actual intrinsic energy, or ch'i, up our spines, and
• 3) Releasing tension blockages throughout our bodies that enable us to move energy effectively.

It's important to do ch'i-cultivation exercises as a part of our regular routine. I've recently included the classic Chinese silk-weaving exercises into my daily practice, along with some chi kung; together, these help ramp up my intrinsic energy level, giving me more "oomph" for the visualization and energy circulation (aka "body of light") work. This is a lot like adding a few more extra logs to the fire; if we really want to heat something up (such as manifesting an intention, or creating a shift in our lives), then it helps to have a bit more extra "oomph."

I gave several good resources for this in a previous blogpost Creating Personal Energy.

My friend and colleague, Donald Michael Kraig, has an excelleng understanding of these matters (and has written several books on this subject). See his excellent radio interview transcript on sex magic. Also, you might check out both his blogs and his books; see DM Kraig's website.

You might, of course, also read, study, and practice what I describe in Chapter 29: "Pragmatic Esoterics", of my own recent book, Unveiling: The Inner Journey.

And just as a gentle reminder: This is relatively advanced practice. Think of what is described in books such as The Secret as "undergraduate level." What DM Kraig describes in his (now in its third edition) "Modern MagicK Twelve Lessons in the High Magickal Arts" is equivalent to a thorough and demanding (although still very accessible) introductory graduate-level text. (It's not that the concepts are hard; it's simply the execution and practice that takes discipline.) Chapter 29 of my own book is essential a precis for a similarly-demanding course of study; mine emphasizes more the physical and internal-energy components. Taken together, along with the references described in a previous posting (see link above) will essentially comprise a very good initial graduate-level training in energy cultivation, circulation, and direction.

Morocco's "You Asked Aunt Rocky" - Fascinating Read, Significant Contribution!

Morocco's You Asked Aunt Rocky - A Major Contribution to Dance Ethnography!

Morocco's You Asked Aunt Rocky - the culmination of years of study, travel, practice, ad writing - has just been released via Lulu. I've just submitted a review article to The Belly Dance Chronicles, for their April/May/June issue, and also published a five-star review on Lulu.com, where it already has three other five-star reviews.

Currently, you can order You Asked Aunt Rocky directly from Lulu.com, and it will be available from Amazon.com by March.

In the Shallow Waters - The "Real" Origins of Oriental Dance!

We Learned to Dance as We Learned to Swim: The Real Origins of Oriental Dance

At the end of this month, Delilah will be hosting her famous wintertime dance retreat in Hawai'i. What a perfect escape from the mid-winter blues and blahs!

There's a special reason to join Delilah this year. In fact, there are TWO special reasons.

First, she's actually holding two back-to-back retreats. The first, from Jan 29th thru Feb. 3rd, features Special Guest Teacher Fahtiem, and gives participants to learn Fahtiem's exquisitely beautiful style. The second, from Feb. 4th through Feb. 9th, features Special Guest Teacher Jennifer Earle, and introduces the womenly self-defense art of Nia. What a fabulous way to combine both strength and beauty! And in the most luscious setting possible.

There's a second - really important - reason to get to one of Delilah's Hawai'i retreats. She actually gets her dancers out into the water! And there's something special - something almost magical - that happens when we do Oriental dance (belly dance) in the water. Our bodies return to - they viscerally re-member - how it is that our art came about.

While much can be said of how Oriental dance grew out of ancient folk dances from the Mid-East, and there can even be a claim for dances in earliest recorded human times, I'd like to suggest that we - as humans - learned to dance even earlier. Our dance is a natural response to spending time in the water.

In her groundbreaking book, The Descent of Women, author Elaine Morgan makes the significant claim that humans evolved through a series of two major progressions; one where we went into the water (in the heat of the Pliocene era. Essentially, she says, we "went to the beach." We spent a lot of time out in tidal bays and lagoons. In these soft, gentle, shallow water, we withstood the Pliocene heat waves.

Now, I'm going to suggest - based on my personal research in "unveiling" movement patterns intrinsic to our bodies - that our art form began when we were in the water, and our bodies naturally adapted to the gentle pull of tides and waves. When we went ashore in the evening, and built campfires, some of us made music on drums and other simple instruments. Others of us - danced! We did, on smooth beaches around a driftwood campfire, what our bodies had done all day in the water. We did undulations, figure eights, and snake arms.

And that, dear friends, is what I believe to be the true story of the origins of the dance. Various "courtship gestures" became incorporated later. We evolved other patterns as well. But the fundamentals? The ones that are deeply ingrained in our bodies - so that we really only have to remember them? They come from our origin as a species. From a time when we went to the beach, played in the water during the day, and danced on the beach in the evenings.

I've always wanted to recreate this experience, and last summer I had the chance - my dear friend Nicole Cutts, Founder of Vision Quest Retreats for women - invited me to teach a private group. We did "belly dance" in the pool! You can see the YouTube link on her Facebook page.

Some Insights from Elaine Morgan's Descent of Woman

The following are a few selected quotes from the Descent of Woman. I heartily recommend that you get the book and enjoy the read! It had a profound impact on me when it first came out in the 1970's, and will probably influence how you think also!

Long long ago, then, back in the mild Miocene, there was a generalized vegetarian prehomind hairy ape. She had not yet developed the high-powered brain which today distinguishes woman from all other species. (p. 16)

[Alay'nya's note: The Pliocene heat wave started, drying up the woods in which we had lived. Pre-humans were forced into grasslands.]

She also couldn’t digest grass; she also had a greedy and hectoring mate; she also lacked fighting canines; she also was hampered by a clinging infant; and she also was chased by a carnivore and found there was no tree she could run up to escape. However, in front of her there was a large sheet of water. With piercing squeals of terror she ran straight into the sea. The carnivore was a species of cat and didn’t like wetting his feet; and moreover, though he had twice her body weight, she was accustomed like most tree-dwellers to adopting an upright posture, even though she used four legs for locomotion. She was thus able to go farther into the water than he could without drowning. She went right in up to her neck and waited there clutching her baby until the cat got fed up with waiting and went back to the grasslands. (pp. 20-21)

She switched easily, almost without noticing it, from eating small scuttling insects to eating small scuttling shrimps and baby crabs. There were thousands of seabirds nesting on the cliffs, and as she had a firm handgrip and a good head for heights she filled another empty ecological niche as an egg collector. (p. 21)

Whenever anything alarming happened on the landward side – or sometimes just because it was getting so hot – she would go back into the water, up to her waist, or even up to her neck.” (pp. 21-22)

She spent so much time in the water that her fur became nothing but a nuisance to her. (p. 23) (Alay'nya's note: As a result, she lost her body fur and kept the long fur on her head – which grew even longer, so her infant could grab it and get back to Mommy.)

In short, we evolved. We went from tree-dwellers to grassland-dwellers to beach-dwellers. And we stayed on the beaches for a long, long time. In the water – in the safe, calm waters of gentle bays and lagoons – we became human. We learned to walk upright. We developed a new set of facial gestures and expressions. We learned to use speech. (Sound carries very well over water – even when sunlight is glinting off the waves and it is difficult to see someone who is further away.)

And guess what? It was most likely within this soft, gentle, safe environment that we developed the fine art of belly dance.

Our bodies swayed with the seaweed when we were in the water. We naturally – and instinctively – developed our “undulations.”

Our hands and arms rested naturally and gracefully on the water’s surface. And we naturally – and instinctively – developed our “snake arms.”

And then, when the sun went down, and we went ashore, and made fires from driftwood and cooked the shellfish and eggs that we’d collected during the day, we danced around the fire. Simply because it was fun, and we had nothing else to do. We did it to play!

The end effect? Our human intelligence, our playfulness, and our happiness are all tied up with that wonderful time in our evolutionary history when we all collectively took a beach vacation. A “vacation” that lasted several million years.

This year – let’s take a beach vacation again, and join Delilah with guest teachers Fahtiem (Jan 29 – Feb 3rd) and Jennifer Earle (Feb 4th – 9th). Visit Sign up today!

Priming Our "Fountain of Youth" - Raw Foods in Winter

Cranberry Salad (A Wintertime Raw Food Energy Stimulator)

Winter is a time for meditation and reflection. Certainly, our bodies become quieter. Our need for sleep is natural at this time of year. But as we turn inwards, we need to cultivate a balance. We need a certain amount of liveliness in our bodies, even during this quieter time.

We know that raw fruits and veggies are good for us. Sometimes, though, a piece of raw food is not the first thing that crosses our mind when we want winter foods.

The trick is to work with raw food recipes that give us all the nutrients that we need, and which also feel satisfying.

Recently, I had some evening quiet time, after spending the day cleaning along with the Pick-Up-and-Put-Away (PUPA) steps so necessary to bring order, harmony, beauty and joy to life. At the end, I was bushed. Fortunately, I had quiet time alone, and so I petted my cats, gave them some treats, and sat down to watch TV with a chopping board on my lap and my favorite veggies-cutting knife in hand. I made the following recipe for a holiday cranberry salad – all raw – and very eatable on its own. And just super-full of healthy vitamins and such!

Alay’nya’s Christmas Cranberry Salad - Maximal Healthy Winter Raw Foods!

• 1 bag of fresh cranberries, washed. (You might do this with half the bag, save the rest to wash and use later.) As you go along, feeling through them, toss out the ones that are soft. Cut the ones that are firm – first into halves, then again into quarters. (If you have a food processor, you might do a very loose and light chop. But if you don’t, or just want to have something to do with your hands while watching TV, then hand-chop.)
• Oranges or clementines - For every cup of cranberries, you’ll want between ½ cup to a full cup of freshly cut orange slices. Just peel the oranges, pull apart the segments, then chop these into smaller pieces. Guestimate proportions; you don’t need to be exact. For a half-bag of cranberries, this could be two large navel oranges, or 3 or 4 smaller ones. You can use clementines if those are what you have at hand.
• Celery – about two large, fresh sticks – choose from the inner part of the celery heart where the celery is sweetest. Cut off any green leaves (use to put in your raw foods juicer, a stew or soup or stuffing). Cut the celery into small pieces. All these fruit & veggie pieces should be about the same size.
• Walnuts – about a half-cup. Cut into small pieces.
  Mix the chopped fruits, celery, & nuts in a large bowl. This is a lovely give-away present to health-conscious friends and family. You can eat this by the forkful as a snack.

This will last for a bit in the fridge, but should be eaten within 4-5 days. It's a great way to get a fabulous salad made while watching a bit of evening TV!

Remember the food-combining rules: Eat “like with like.” So it’s actually best NOT to put this raw fruit-based salad with other foods. Instead, eat it early in the day as a snack before other meals.

Remember also – your stomach uses different levels of pH and enzymes to digest different kinds of food. It digests protein differently from starches. So if you have a meal of meat, fish, or eggs, try to NOT have your starches (potatoes, rice, breads, etc.) at the same time – although you can eat as many veggies (cooked and/or raw) with your protein as you like. So choose whether you’re having a “protein-based” or “carbs/starches-based” meal.

And up your consumption of “healthy oils” during the winter – they help soften your skin, and they transport the fat-based vitamins throughout your body. Avocado is good. Make your own salad dressings with high-quality olive oil and/or grapeseed oil, with a nice balsamic vinegar or a splash of lime. Add some flaxseed oil as well. (Omega-3’s and other healthy things.)

Here's to your health, wellness, and overall well-being - as we bring the year to a close, and look forward to the year ahead!

"Where Are the Initiated Men of Power Today?" - An Answer to Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette

To Find the "Initiated Men of Power" - Seek Out the Martial Arts Masters

Leaders of the men's movement today are addressing the question brought before them by young men:

"In a Bill Moyers interview with poet Robert Bly ... a young man asked the question, 'Where are the initiated men of power today?' We have written this book in order to answer this question, which is on the minds of both men and women. In the beginning of the twenty-first century, we face a crisis in the masculine identity of vast proportions. Increasingly, observers of the contemporary scene - sociologists, anthropologists, and depth psychologists - are discovering the devastating dimensions of this phenomenon, which affects each of us personally as much as it affects our society as a whole."

(See Robert Moore's website page for this quote and also for an introduction to the excellent book by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, written to answer this question.

See also my review of Moore and Gillette's book on today's Unveiling webpage, Moore and Gillette; King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.



The question is a real one. In all of our mythic Heroic Quests, the young man is tutored by a sage, someone whom we'll call a Hierophant - a "wise older man" who can guide the young man towards full adulthood. In his excellent book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman describes his teacher Socrates.



In the movie Star Wars, Luke Skywalker is tutored first by Obi-wan Kenobi, then by Yoda. In The Karate Kid (1984 version), Dan is tutored by a martial arts master, Mr. Miyagi.

What is consistent here? Young men are taught by martial arts masters. This is the classic initial stage of the Hero's Journey.

Socrates, Obi-wan Kenobi and Yoda, and Mr. Miyagi - together with numerous similar characters in fiction and film - are idealizations. But the "real versions" exist!

In Unveiling: The Inner Journey, I credit two martial arts masters with whom it has been a great privilege to study. Robert Fusaro Sensei, 7th Dan, Founder of Midwest Karate Association, and Peter Ralston, founder of both the Cheng Hsin school and the martial arts discipline of that name, are masters who are substantial and very authentic. Further, diligent search of the martial arts schools and systems in most cities will reveal others who are competent teachers; not only of martial arts, but also of life.

Even those who prefer something other than martial arts can benefit by the pathway to becoming a "Superior Man," as described by author Davide Deida.



Deida states "The two ways to bring you right to your masculine edge of power are austerity and challenge." (The Way of the Superior Man, p. 191)

Women are aware of whether or not men are willing to do this. As we observe men, we note whether they are creatures of comfort, or if they are afraid to disrupt their own "status quo." In essence, we note their courage - their willingness to accept both discomfort ("austerity") and their willingness to step beyond their safety zone ("challenge").

So for all men who are looking for a pathway: Seek out austerity and challenge, as Deida suggests. Give up the TV and the video games, and spend time in a real dojo; study with a martial arts master. Push yourself into the wilderness and into your own wildness. Then see how your woman responds to you. (Or if you are not in a relationship, then observe what sorts of women begin to be attracted to you.)

Using Breathing to Heal

Breathing, Belly Dance, and Breakthroughs - Part II

A week ago, I was enjoying a fabulous breakthrough. Something had shifted for me emotionally. (Still am not sure what.) My body released, some tension patterns had all but disappeared, I was happy, joyful, and confident. What's more, my energy surged. On Sunday of a week ago, I could barely get through the day, no matter how much B12 and ginseng I took in. The next day, all but forgetting about supplements, I breezed through the day and worked hard into the late evening, enjoying every moment.

And I had three more days just like that.

Until, Thursday evening, I felt this funny little warning "hotness" in my throat. I knew instinctively what it was, and recognized that my body was craving Vitamin C. I still went out to a meeting that night.

The next morning, my throat was red, raw, and painful. There was no longer any doubt or question. Whether strep throat or simply one of the worst colds of my life, it had landed!

So I stayed (more or less) calm throughout the weekend. I pulled back from all human contact, and let friends know that I wouldn't be at some events - even those which we'd been anticipating for months. I even minimized phone time.

By Sunday, my energy was low, and I spent most of the day in bed, alternating naps with listening to a book on CD.

So what caused this magnificent "fall from grace"? Was the breakthrough not real? (Well, actually, yes it was. I knew that the tension release, the freedom in movement, and the increased energy were all very real.)

What happened was simply a big "word from the Universe" that it was time to settle down. I had taken on too much. (Have STILL taken on too much.) I was behind on almost every promised task.

Setbacks such as these - whether flu or colds, or something more serious - are often the way that our Higher Self pulls us out of our nearly compulsive "to-do" list - where our entire cognitive focus, our identify, and most certainly our attention and time - are wrapped up in our "things to do."

So I'm doing all the expected and appropriate things. Fluids. Lots of rest. Vitamin C. More rest. Chicken soup. (And more rest.)

In short order, I'll find my paperwork, and go see a doctor. And I'll probably get a round of antibiotics. But healing doesn't come from the anti-biotics, per se. (Not saying that they can't be of great help.) Rather, the healing has to come from a shift from within, and it is to this that I'm giving my attention.

And oh yes - using "breathing to heal"? Yes, I'm doing that as well. Consciously circulating energy. Reaching out with my awareness, and catching little "energy waves"; bringing them in and moving this energy around my body. Doing the Silk-Weaving Exercises (a form of Chinese breathing and exercising exercises.

Breathing, Breakthroughs, and Belly Dance

Emotional Breakthroughs Show in Our Breathing, Body Movement, and Dance

Just yesterday, I had a breakthrough.

Now my life consists of "breakthroughs." I have them intellectually. (This is what gives me ideas for everything from blogposts to patents. There are several "breakthroughs" in Unveiling alone.) And I'm used to having physical breakthroughs as well; these have made me an effective dancer.

But yesterday something happened that was a bit unexpected, and I want to share it with you while the memory is fresh.

For the previous few months - post-Unveiling-publication - I'd been having a lot of fatigue. Through being kind and gentle with myself, through rest and (not-too-strenuous) exercise, through better diet and supplements, I was slowly getting better. But this improvement was wobbly, and after almost three months, I still wasn't back to full strength and power. In fact, just the day-before-yesterday, I'd had one of those days in which all the supplements in the world - all the vitamin B-12 and ginseng - were getting me off the launch pad but not quite into stable orbit.

And then, yesterday, several little things happened. I can't quite put my finger on any single one. But somehow, in the midst of all these "little things" - a real breakthrough occured.

The "little things"? Working my daily exercise with the Course in Miracles, which I started about two months ago. (If there is anything that is life-changing, this is it. And I was in huge resistance about one of those exercises, but somehow, wound up adopting the premise that it offered - that may have been a "pivot point.")



The "pivot point" may have been when Nimeera, another dancer with whom I met the day before, looked at me and said, "Breathe." (I didn't even know that I was holding my breath.)

It may have been waking up, realizing that I was holding tension in one of my favorite tension-holding places in my back, and then starting to use undulations to release that tension, and also releasing the "emotional issue" that I felt was linked to the tension spot.

It could have been any of these; all of them, or none. What I do know is that somehow, sometime, yesterday I began to move again.

Now don't get me wrong. I'd been "moving" all these past few months. A fair bit of the daily yoga and core, stretch and resistance training. Renewed long walks. And lots and lots of housecleaning and other chores.

But I hadn't been doing much dance.

I'd attributed this to having put all my energy into the Unveiling-publication.

But there was something else, a sadness that had been a part of my life over the last three years. And somehow, it released, and my body began to naturally do the "belly dance movements" once again.

That's right, I started naturally and spontaneously moving - the undulations, the figure-eights (of all sorts). The stretches, the neck movements, everything.

And I realized, once again, that the beauty of Oriental dance as a body art (in comparision with other, equally good and very valid body arts such as yoga and T'ai Chi), is that the range of movements that it gives us are fabulously superb for releasing emotional tension. They are the best movements for real body/mind/psyche integration.

That's because an Oriental dance technique, such as an undulation, corresponds to releasing tension up and down our spine. When we release emotional tension, we can release the physical. And vice versa.

So if we have even a glimmering of how the two are connected - some attention and awareness of how our bodies and our "emotional selves" work together - then when we get the slightest little release in one area, we can use the dance techniques to help us release just a little more. We use our body/mind/psyche integration pathway to leverage this release.

So, for example, a little emotional release - leads to an undulation. An undulation leads to a figure-eight. A figure-eight leads to paying attention to what we have "stuck" in our lower backs and pelvic area. And then we bring our attention to the emotional aspect, process it, and get a bit more release again physically.

And this is why I love this dance form so much!

P.S. I write about this in Chapters 14-16 of Unveiling: The Inner Journey. And in those chapters, I credit Diane Richardson, who is a Co-Founder of Relational Energetics (see http://www.relationalenergetics.com). I also suggest chiropractic and massage, and other healing modalities - Reiki is good, as are others.

How to Use the "Fountain of Youth"

The "Fountain of Youth" - The Beauty Secret That Costs Nothing (and Makes Us Look Years Younger)!

Would you like to get out of bed looking ten years younger? What if something made you look even better than having a good night's sleep, or a rousing round of early morning sex? Both sleep and sex are good; no question. But what if there was one more thing that would increase your beauty, your vigor, your vital energy, your zest, and your overall confidence and sex appeal? What if there was a single, ultimate, "anti-aging secret"?

And what if this anti-aging secret cost nothing but time?

It's just because this "costs nothing more than time" that you don't see articles about this in the major women's magazines.

We all know that today, more than ever, beauty is "big business." We know that "Baby Boomer women" in North America make up the world's demographic with the greatest disposable income. Manufacturers and marketers know this, also. That's why TV shows and women's magazines are a vehicle for advertising all manner of skin care, hair care, and beauty products. They also promote services - ranging from cosmetics customization to cosmetic surgery.

All of these are good. I have no problem with any of these, and am as interested as the next woman.

But there's one more thing - a "special something" which no one mentions. And they don't mention it simply because there's no profit margin. Your favorite plastic surgeons won't get you under the knife for this. Your favorite "medi-spa" won't book you for a bit of Botox. Revlon and Estee Lauder - and all the many other cosmetics companies - won't post greater profits to their stockholders.

The 2011 Summer-Fall issue of New Beauty magazine has articles such as "Botox Breakthroughs" and "The Secret Surgery: How to Look Years Younger in 60 Minutes or Less."

These are all good - please, I am not suggesting that we don't take advantage of each and every benefit that these advanced beauty methods offer. From spas to supplements, from hormones to yoga, from restylane to revitalizing face creams - I'm for all of them.

But let's think about a "one hour beauty treatment" that doesn't involve a surgical procedure - or even visiting your favorite masseuse.

What could we do so that, as Lord Byron said, our lips would be "roses over-washed with dew"?

This is not some arcane secret that requires a lifetime of questing, and years of esoteric study. Rather, it is practical, efficient, and learnable. Moreover, it gives us instant results. By accessing and using our very own Fountain of Youth, we increase our beauty - we actually do look years younger - without the time and cost (and potential downsides) of cosmetic surgery, injectables and lasers, and other means that are common in our current "beauty culture."

The Fountain of Youth: What It Is, What It Isn't

In Unveiling: The Inner Journey I write about the very real Fountain of Youth that any one of us can access and use. It's all in Chapter 29, "Pragmatic Esoterics." And I was practicing it this morning, just after waking up.

And yes, I did look ten years younger getting out of bed today!

P.S. Do you want instant access to this "secret"? Go to: The Fountain of Youth: It "Really Is" Real!

Lineage - in Martial Arts, Yoga, Zen - and Belly Dance!

Our "Master Teachers" in Oriental Dance

Recently, I took a workshop with Anahid Sofian, where the day's classes were taught by her protege, the internationally-renowned Eva Cernik. Among the attendees was Nourhan Sharif, and others who were remarkable for their intelligence (one had her Ph.D. in biochemistry), devotion to the art (most were long-standing students), and overall high level of knowledge about dance, art, and life.

I overheard Nourhan and another dancer, where the question that one of them posed was: Which other leading dancers do you like - and respect - the most? (The context was with historical figures - the luminaries of films, etc.)

Somehow, the conversation swung around to how we - as students, practitioners, and often teachers - show how we respect our own teachers. And someone (here I'm airbrushing just a bit) commented on one dancer who left a well-known teacher to form her own studio. She had been a teacher in the master dance teacher's studio, and took the students - who were in class with her - when she left to set up her own "establishment."

This wasn't just a burst of ego. It was a show of disrespect, and - in simple business terms - an undercutting.

I had the same thing happen to me, and write about it in Unveiling: The Inner Journey. (see the opening for Chapter 15, "Softening: Beginning to Break Through," beginning page 199.

I recall a conversation with another leading dancer, one with whom I've studied and whom I respect a great deal. I asked her how I could honor her in my work. She said, "Simply recognize me in your bio. Say that you've studied with me."

That seems easy enough. Surprisingly, though, there are dancers - those who want to "establish" themselves - who think that the best way to do this is to disregard (and even disrespect) their connections with their teachers and - when they find them - their "master teachers."

We in the Oriental dance world seek to claim legitimacy for our art form. We want respect. We demand, and the rigor and beauty of our art form demands, a high level of respect.

But to get respect, we have to give it.

Look at the great traditions in the world; the ones where personal teaching is necessary. Martial artists, the world over, acknowledge their teachers. Lineage is exceptionally important.

Lineage is important in ballet, modern dance, and other dance forms. It is important in all branches of yoga.

In Zen meditation, one of the practices is that the disciples recite the names of their master teachers, going up through their entire lineage, and thanking and acknowledging them.

We have a profoundly beautiful, moving, and exquisite art form. We also have lineage. It's time for us to respect our "master teachers."

In Unveiling: The Inner Journey, I identify my "master teachers" - in dance, in martial arts, and in body/mind/psyche/energy integration. If I've studied with them, and if there is enough of a relationship so that they can pick me out of a lineup, they're mentioned. I tell stories about them - the kind of "student/teacher" stories that highlight their role as teachers.

Right now, more and more of us are writing. (Morocco's book is coming out soon, Nourhan Sharif has one underway.) We put together websites. We have videos. In addition to teaching classes and performing, we have numerous venues available to us - through the web, digital media, and print - in which we can honor our "master teachers."

We want respect? Let's start by giving it.

Getting "Inner Balance" with T'ai Chi, Chi Kung, and "Push Hands"

Peter Ralston - Martial Arts Master - and an "Unveiling" Master Teacher

Yesterday morning, when the power came back on after Hurrican Irene passed through, I went down to my dance studio for my morning yoga practice. And after my body "woke up" a bit, the yoga became a bit of free-form T'ai Chi, then a bit of Chi Kung, with some of the Silk Weaving exercises mixed in. And within short order, I was back to basic - very elementary - dance movements. Really more the essentials - Anchoring and Grounding, and weight shifting. I began attending to Principles that Peter Ralston had elucidated very clearly when I was studying with him.

Peter Ralston, a martial arts Master Teacher, taught T'ai Chi and other "internal" martial arts. He was - and still is - a very effective fighter. He also based his teachings on certain core body-alignment and energetic Principles. He is one of the Master Teachers whom I reference frequently in Unveiling: The Inner Journey.

Peter has several books published, but one that got a very good review is Re-Thinking Cheng Hsin.



Peter's teachings have had a profound impact on my dance. I particularly credit him with helping me define my first Principles, beginning with Anchoring. I spent a fair bit of time yesterday, not only in physical practice, but re-thinking how to connect the Principles with how to teach, both for beginner and advanced students. Another element underlying all of Peter's teachings is that our practice, whether martial arts or any other area, should be "effortless." (Now I'll confess that my practice yesterday, during which I focused on releasing tension and having proper alignment, was pretty hard work!)

In Unveiling, I write:

This principle - that of being "effortless" - holds true for us as well. If we are seeking to cultivate our Hathor essence, then we need to create it in a way that is effortless, natural, and easy. Similarly, if we wish to access the deep wisdom of our inner High Priestess, this must especially come about in a soft and gentle manner! In part, because this is the characteristic of real power. And in part, also, this is the only way that things will work most effectively in our lives. (Unveiling: The Inner Journey, p. 165)

You can read more Unveiling excerpts at: Unveiling: The Inner Journey.

Belly Dancing in Water - The "Origins of the Dance!"

Have you ever wondered how it all started? (Belly dance, that is.)

Have you ever wondered how we - as human beings - started? Apart from Creation myth(s), and God taking a rib from Adam, and that sort of thing.

How did we go from being fairly successful pre-hominids to beings with art and culture, with complex languages, and (even) complex thoughts - on topics that range from cosmology to cosmetics to cosmic knowledge.

There had to be a "transition point," didn't there?

And for us women, there had to be a point at which dancing evolved.

Specifically, there had to be a point at which belly dance began to evolve, because this dance form is the oldest one that there is!

Seven years ago, I travelled on business to Hawaii. After checking in and taking a short nap, I got up, put on a swimsuit and cover-up, and walked down to Waikiki beach. It was late evening; the beach was deserted. The stars were out, the weather was warm, and starlight and hotel lights sparkled off the gentle waves.

From where the waves slowly lapped the shore, I I walked out more than fifty feet from the water’s edge, until I was chest-high in the warm water. Seaweed softly stroked my skin. I relaxed, lengthened my back, and let the waves gently rock my spine.

This, I realized, is where belly dance was born.

Several millennia ago, we women took to the beaches in the blistering Pliocene-era heat waves.



Up until that time, we (or our earliest ancestral hominids) were fruit-loving forest dwellers. When the savage Pliocene-era heat and drought decimated our favored forest dwellings, we had to live in the plains. This was too hot, and much too dangerous. Being (even then), intelligent beings, we did the only intelligent thing possible. We went to the beach! (So, for that matter, did elephants and dophins, all mammals who’ve adapted to a watery environment. The dolphins stayed and adapted further, and we and the elephants eventually went back on land.) We lost much of our “fur” in the process, and gained a great deal of intelligence. (Elaine Morgan writes about how our “beach time” helped us evolve in The Descent of Women (1972); another really good smart woman’s “beach read.”)

So there I was, in the slowly, lapping waves, under a moonlit and starry night, with seaweed stroking my back and thighs. I relaxed, and “reconnected” with my ancestresses.

And guess what? My body naturally and instinctively began to do the most fundamental movement in Oriental dance (belly dance); an “undulation.” I “undulated” up and down my spine, in rhythm with the waves and the seaweed.

I floated my arms out to my sides, and let them “rest” on the soft swells of the water. Once again, naturally and instinctively, they moved on their own, in a pattern that we now call “snake arms.” It has nothing to do with snakes, not really. When we women first “evolved” this dance movement, it was because our arms naturally responded to the movements of the waves.

You can read an excerpt from Elaine Morgan's Descent of Woman here:


We (or our early pre-human ancestors) spent a lot of time in the water. Enough time to morph us into what we are today; mammals who stand on two legs instead of four; mammals who use speech (which carries beautifully over water); and mammals who have hair on our heads (to protect our heads from the sun’s rays), but who don’t need much hair on the rest of our bodies. We also became mammals who dance.

We have evolved so that standing in water, responding naturally and instinctively to a soft, gently lapping wave, is enormously soothing to us. This kind of movement releases tension. It gets us back to our “calm state.” Movements that “flow” and “undulate” our spine – whether done in water (ideal) or on land (since that’s where we now live) – help us feel good. And movements that open up our shoulders, and stretch out our pectoral muscles, and release our neck tension (especially when done in water) feel very good indeed.

Experiment on your own (if you must), or with a girlfriend or two or three, and even consider asking a belly dance teacher to come up with a "belly dance in the pool" class for you! No matter how it goe, you’ll learn (or discover) means for reducing neck and back tension, unwinding the tight spots in your clavicles and pectoral areas, and even ways for reducing the impact of carpal tunnel syndrome.

What better way to counter this summer's heat waves? Enjoy!

Yours in dance - Alay'nya

Rebuilding Personal Energy (Ch'i)

Building Personal Energy (Ch'i)

Over the past few days, my personal energy levels had dropped down a bit. I was a bit more tired in the afternoons, and craving carbohydrates and sugars. These were tell-tale signs that my energy and balance were off.

To start rebuilding my personal energy, or ch'i, I prepared with a short and easy yoga session (mostly to stretch out the leg meridians; these help with sleep and relaxation), and took a nap. (Always a good choice.)

When I woke up, I found a good action movie on TV that was just getting started, and did a two-hour yoga/core/resistance/stretch session. Just the basics, nothing new and certainly nothing fancy. But I felt hugely better afterwards.

Then I did some juicing with the last of the "juicing greens and veggies" that I had stored in a special kitchenette where I keep the juicer (and a garbage disposal for handling waste, even though I compost most of it). A dedicated area helps, as a week's worth of juicing veggies and greens takes up a lot of room. Also, since this is "raw foods," it's best to keep it from meats and other food types. My ingredients were: a whole small beet, a whole large carrot and a whole Granny Smith apple, a small handful of parsley, a small handful of cress, and a few stalks of celery (including the leafy parts at the top, and the "celery root" area below the stalks). This was one of the best combos I'd ever made, it was great!

By this time, my energy was perking up. I wound up doing this in the middle of the night, so my goal now is to calm down and go back to bed. However, the combination of yoga and exercise, together with the nutrients from the freshly-squeezed greens and veggies, has my energy flowing again.

It is from this slightly more energized state that I started doing some basic T'ai Chi, and the silk-weaving exercises.

I've looked online for vids of the silk-weaving exercises as described in Michael Minik's book (referenced in a previous post), and couldn't find any good, "basic" ones. I'm sure that chi kung training is similar, but at some point I'll try to do a simple little silk-weaving vid, and post on YouTube. This is a great energizing practice, especially when used in conjunction with the basic things that get our bodies moving and our energy flowing.

P.S. - I'm still winding down and getting ready to go back to bed. Herbal tea - I use Celestial Seasoning's "Sleepytime Extra," the valerian helps induce sleep, and stir in a little GABA. Also have a chug of the Calcium/Magnesium components of the two-part liquid vitamins that I get from Dr. Sievers at Care Plus in Fairfax, VA.

It's only when I've done a good bit of yoga and stretching to warm up and get my lower back released, and core work to get my abdominal muscles engaged, that I feel ready to fully take advantage of T'ai Chi. And then, only after all of that do I feel that my body is really ready to work with dance. The elements of Oriental dance involve so much stretching and flexing of our spines, our pelvic girdle, and diaphragms - and so much core strength if we are to do it right - that we can have a really good dance workout if half our time (or even more) is spent with warm-ups and preps, getting our body ready to move in the right way. Then the dance techniques flow from internal strength and connection, rather than from being "imposed."

And we have a much better chance of doing energy circulation work in dance if we've prepared properly.

Unveiling "Archetypes" and Franklin-Covey "Roles" - A Practical Step in Personal Integration

Personal Integration: The First Adult Life-Journey

I've just posted to the Unveiling blog about how I'm using the Unveiling archetypes to help me clarify and prioritize tasks for my different roles, using the Weekly Compass in the Franklin Covey Day Planner system.

The more complex our life gets, the more it helps us to organize ourselves in terms of roles.

Just in these past two weeks, I've been teaching myself to connect my different roles with the various archetypes from Unveiling.

We each have six core archetypes; three male, and three female. Our masculine ones are Magician (visionary, creating "something" from "nothing"), Emperor (building structures, systems, and social order), and Hierophant (teaching and mentoring, within a well-defined and structured system). Our three female roles are Isis (also known as Empress; nurturing and caring), Hathor (perfumes, pleasure, and play - the "sweet things" of life), and High Priestess (contemplative, intuitive, insightful). We also each have two "reserve" modes; our Hestia (our hearth-and-home goddess; very comforting) and our "Green Man of the Woods" (our inner wild-man or wild-woman, who connects with nature and instinct). (For women, we may think of our "Green Man" as our "Green Woman," or Artemis - the original goddess who "ran with the wolves.")

These eight modes, taken together, are the eight "cylinders" of our "power car engine." We need all eight. If we lose touch with any single one, it's like trying to run a Corvette when not all the cylinders are firing. Dysfuction.

But operating in society, we tend to over-emphasize our Amazon (which for women is a combination of all of our masculine modes), and our Isis - leaving little or no time for Hathor or High Priestess. (No wonder we not only feel stressed, but - from time-to-time - disassociated. We're missing at least two of our "power modes.")

So as we use time-management and life-organization systems such as the Franklin Covey Day Planner, we can consciously factor in and identify roles that incorporate each of our core archetypal modes. Sometimes, we'll blend two or more archetypes into a single role, but we can do this consciously and purposefully, so it will work.

Then, as we start allocating time, we can make sure that we identify Hathor-time, and factor pleasure and play into our daily lives. We can identify High Priestess time, and be certain that we step away from society, and from "digital distractions," and commune with our inner being. We can associate simple housekeeping chores with our Hestia, and know that we're nourishing an important part of our inner reserve by caring for our physical surround. ("Wax on, wax off." This can be very refreshing.) And we can group our various nurturing and caring activities into our Isis mode, where we consciously choose and know how much time we spend on caring for others - and the trade-off in terms of caring for ourselves.

This gives us the basis for wisdom and discernment, two superior life-skills.

Sexual Power - and the "Jade Egg"

Sexual Power, the "Jade Egg," and Oriental Dance (Belly Dance) - Yes, There Is a Connection!

Darlings -

A wonderful word - I'm getting my "review copy" of Unveiling either today or tomorrow; it shipped from CreateSpace yesterday. So of course I had to let everyone on my email lists know about this last night.

The first question that came back had nothing to do with archetypes, integration, or even the "Fountain of Youth" (ch'i cultivation). Instead, it was as direct, simple, and pragmatic as it could get - and it has to do with sex, and with giving and receving pleasure.

T., a dancer, asked:

... Have you ever herd of a Jade Egg and if so does it truly work? I'm in my thirties. My boyfriend told me I don't contract. I also don't get any pleasure from him so I feel kind of weird. I'm looking for a web site about the Jade Egg, but haven't found any useful information yet. Can you help me?

T., your question is very important. In fact, it is REALLY important – both for you and your partner. And your basic Oriental dance (belly dance) training can help you a LOT. You just need to emphasize working with your core as you do your movements, integrating “core work” into everything – I teach this, and will start to have workshops beginning this fall, including this topic.

Yes, I do know what you mean about the “Jade Egg.” The “Jade Egg” is an egg-shaped stone (various sizes) that a woman inserts into her vagina, and learns to move it up and down her vaginal area through muscular contractions.

You don’t have to use a “Jade Egg” (although there’s nothing wrong with it), but you CAN gain a strong core that will enhance your sexual pleasure, and your partner’s. I actually describe the best approach (an abdominal training exercise) in Unveiling, Chapter 25: Sex Secrets of Belly Dancers, and you should be able to order this either through Cleo’s Closet, or through CreateSpace (later today or tomorrow – if the “review copy” they shipped yesterday arrives in a timely manner, and I can approve and they set up their e-store – all this can happen VERY fast), or in a week or so from Amazon.

Your best resources for overall descriptions and training are:



Gerson Kuhr’s Core Training for Belly Dancers – (see link above). I make this part of the Registration Package for all of our Beginners (and even advanced students, joining in from another class), because core training is VERY important.

Unveiling: The Inner Journey, Chapter 25: Sex Secrets of Belly Dancers. Details on a type of abdominal crunch that will improve your interior and exterior oblique strength, which is what you need to induce strong pressure on your partner during love-making, and some very interesting (new!) information on how our dance movements can actually induce clitoral stimulation - indirect, but very nice!

Also, just as important as gaining core strength (and learning how to use this strength effectively), we also need to release our back tension, and tension in our pelvis and sacrum. Releasing (unnecessary) tension is as important as is using our strength. I write about this in Chapters 14-16 of Unveiling, and we can learn to use our dance movements for tension release as well as part of our dance training.



Healing Love Through Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy, by Mantak Chia and Maneewan Chia, Chapter 7. Lots of detailed and fairly technical information. Rather dry and dull, but comprehensive.


Really, I suggest factoring core training into your dance moves as being the most fun and "juicy" way to get your core strength to enliven your sexual pleasure.

Best wishes in all, and let me know how this works out for you!

Yours in dance – Alay’nya

Redeveloping Personal Energy, or "Ch'i"

"Ch'i," or Vital Energy - How to Get It; How to Use It

Like most of you, my sense of personal vital energy, or ch'i, is sometimes up, and sometimes down. About a month ago, after completing (yet another) huge proofing round for Unveiling (due out at the end of this month!), my ch'i was down - and so was I. Too many hours at the computer. Too many hours in a tight-focused mindset, driving myself to "accomplish," and over-ruling the needs of both my body and psyche.

But this is just part of being human.

All of us, at some point or other, push ourselves to extremes in order to accomplish something important - something that may even (temporarily!) override what we know is right for our overall well-being.

I'm not talking about indulging in negative behaviors, such as extreme overeating, or use of drugs, or even indulging in (protracted) negative thought-patterns. (But for a good blogpost on this subject, see the recent posting by Julie Marie Rahm (aka "America's Mindset Mechanic") on The "Shoulda" Virus.

But today, I'm talking about how we recover from - not so much a deep well - but from stumbling into a little ditch. Not horrendous, but we do need to get ourselves out of it.

Over the past month, I've made a lot of improvements, and both look a lot better, and feel much better also. ("Better" as in - friends telling me that I'm looking "great" and "fabulous" - without makeup! "Better" as in - my energy and mood are consistently a good notch improved from where they are a month ago, so that things might still upset me, or get to me a little bit, but my recovery - both physically and emotionally - is much, much faster.)

There are really just three things that kick this "recovery" off:

• Exercise: Walking, together with yoga, Chinese "silk-weaving" exercises (for ch'i building, and a bit of free weights and core
• Diet: Lots of raw foods, lots of freshly-juiced drinks of greens, veggies, and a bit of apple. Minimal carbs. (Yes, I still indulge in things that would be better less-indulged-in. That's the next step.)
• Supplements: Liquid vitamins with ginseng. Recently added Co-Q10, Salmon oil, and acetyl-L-carnitine, for metabolism boosting.

The result? In the past month, I've increased my early-morning walk from a mile to three or four miles, and feel fabulous while so doing. While my productivity level feels the same, my feeling of flow and ease while working are both increased, and I'm happier.

All of this is just the precursor work -- just getting in shape, both physically and energetically, to really get in shape - which is my next major intention.

Part 2 of Esther's Story - Now Online (for this week only!)

Part 2 of Esther's story continues our Purim weekend for just a few more days.