Why We Suck at Dancing, and What We Can Do About It

A Very Rare Vent from Alay'nya - "Why We Suck" - and (Most Importantly) "What We Can Do About It"

OK, darlings. Let me come clean. I've been dancing for almost thirty years. Teaching for over twenty. And during that time, I've seen a whole lot of belly dance. And very most likely, you have as well.

And now that I'm moving out from the "writing Sabbatical" (the three years that it took to move from a raw draft to a published book, and the first year "soft launch" of marketing), I'm back to dancing again. And to watching you dance. And watching our friends, our teachers, and whomever else we can find.

And I'm back with one of my original opinions of the quality of our performances. Overall, we kind of suck.

The best that we can say - the kindest word - is that most of us are "enthusiastic hobbyists."

Claudette Dessorgher says this much better than I could - or would - until inspired by reading her article in Gilded Serpent, Beyond the Restaurant: How Can We Bring Bellydance to a Wider Audience?:

However if we stand back and watch most hafla and showcase performances objectively, we have to be honest and say that, in comparison to other dance genres, the standard is very low.

Of course this is largely down to the fact that most bellydancers come to the dance fairly late in life, unlike other dance forms where children start training in their early years. By far the majority are hobbyists with full time jobs, so are unable to take the daily class that mainstream dancers expect, and even if they could, there are precious few advanced classes available in most towns and cities.

Ms. Desorgher goes on to make a number of useful points, and she offers suggestions on what we can - and should - do as a community. (This really is a good article. Go read it.

But to elaborate on her point: Most of the time, our shows are simply boring.

There's a reason for that.

Dance is not just a "visual" performing art. When we go watch a dance performance, unless it is really very technically good - and visually engaging - we're not going to be greatly enthralled. If we want a simple "visual" performance, we should watch the American Ballet Company performing one of George Balanchine's classic works.

But you know what? Balanchine is cold. His work is abstractly beautiful, but it doesn't engage me emotionally - even when the music is lively, and when the dancers are smiling and sparkly. And even watching interesting patterns as they move and fancy choreographies - that doesn't do much for me either.

That's because there is a real difference between Oriental dance (belly dance) and classic ballet. Oriental dance is meant to be an emotional expression - an emotional communication between dancer and audience (or dancer and musician and audience). And it is also a kinesthetic - a visceral - experience.

Ms. Desorgher suggests that one reason that our overall "community-level" performances are not as exciting as they could be is that many of us start late in life. Also, many of us don't have access to advanced classes.

All true.

But that still misses the point.

We don't look as good as we might because, by and large, we're not present in our bodies as we dance. We're way too often in our heads. (I've seen dancers count their way through choreographies; haven't you?) Dance is meant to be in our bodies, not our heads.

All too often - actually, most of the time - we're not "connected" in our bodies, either. That means, we are separately moving around our body parts. We may move an arm at the same time as we do a hip drop or a turn, but for most of us, the two movements are not "connected" inside our bodies. And it shows. It really shows. We look a whole lot more as though we're following the leader in an aerobics class than we are doing a dance.

Finally, we are - as a community - seriously deficient in three major areas. First, we don't have a "principles-based" approach. If we take a look at our sister art (actually, our "brother art"), T'ai Chi Ch'uan, we'll see that it comes out of Principles. At least, if you're studying with a really great teacher, it does. (For an example, check out Peter Ralston.)

Second, we're deficient in understanding and consciously using our "emotional vocabulary." Instead, we have a set of stylized gestures. By and large, we don't know or understand how various movements - whether a gesture or a movement in space - communicate very specific emotional messages.

Third, we're by and large still locked up in our bodies. Most of us have not yet done the emotional release work that allows us to effectively convey dance to our audience, and to experience a dance movement throughout our entire being. So if we're locked up, if we're not released, then our audience gains nothing by watching us.

Ideally, though, we take our audiences into a different state of being. We take them on an internal, magical story-ride, and they find a certain sense of release - an emotional experience - in watching us dance.

How to get there?

Well, I've just committed to Lynette Harris, Founder and Editor of the Gilded Serpent, to do a series of articles on just this topic. And because dance is visual/kinesthetic, I'm going to have to follow up with video. So this is a commitment, from me to you.

But one tiny little first step that each of us can take?

Do yoga. Get those hips, pelvis, and lower back released. Then do your hip shimmies and figure eights.

Also, the next time you're going to perform - warm up before you go on stage. You'll look a whole lot better if you do. Really. Seriously. Take my word for it. It will help you look better, feel better, present better, and minimize the likelihood of injuries.

Classic Cassandra - Review of "Cassandra Live" DVD, Vol. 1

"Classic Cassandra" in "Cassandra Live!" DVD - Elegant, Intelligent, Witty!

Let me just come out and say this right away: I just love Cassandra! I've been to her Oasis workshops a couple of times, and have treasured the videos (yes, it was video technology back then). I've studied them time and again, shown them to my students time and again, and am very much in danger of wearing them out.

So it's been a healthy and refreshing step to finally get copies of her two performance vids, remastered into DVD format, Cassandra Live!.

Three things characterize Cassandra's work: Her ebullient, effervescent joie de vivre, her magical sense of humor and whimsy, and her natural grace combined with flowing and connected movements. Taken together, it's no wonder that she's widely regarded as one of the world's greatest exemplars of classic Oriental dance.

This collection of seven dances presents the full gamut of early Cassandra dance styles, ranging from a well-crafted opening Danse Oriental to a deeply moving and dramatic Zar (folkloric dance depicting an exorcism ritual). For a tongue-in-cheek approach, there's the witty take on the early (mid-1980's) rock videos, "A Atala Khadra."

My absolute favorite, though, for showing Cassandra at her warmest, wittiest, and most tongue-in-cheek best, is her second "Danse Orientale" piece (Cut #6), shot in an outdoor location (possibly an early Minneapolis Renaissance Fair). Her "zill duel" with the drummer is both funny and technically inspiring. Her dance, done with live musicians in the relaxed and comfortable setting of a summer festival, is both lively and relaxed, technically flawless and yet supremely comfortable and endearing.

This is why I watch Cassandra - performing as Cassandra Live - time and again.

Her DVD is available through her company website, Jawaahir.com, although not yet on Amazon. On her website, she offers a 1 1/2 minute "sample clip" - from her "Drum Solo" (Cut #2). Lively and upbeat, this "Drum Solo" gives a great sense of how to improvise with the music, show a full range of emotional expression, and create an exciting moment with the audience. Careful study will reveal many little technical details and subtleties that will enrich the practice of any dancer.

P.S. Cassandra has had hip surgery, and is requesting support from the dance community until she is "back on her feet" once again. Honor Cassandra, and yourself, by supporting her - visit the Cassandra page on the Jawaahir website, and contribute generously today!

Tiraz Dance Network Hosted Superb Belly Dance Convention, Saturday, May 20, 2012

Tiraz Dance Network Hosted Excellent Belly Dance Event with Most-Ever Dancers and Vendors in May, 2012

The Tiraz Dance Network held its sixth annual Belly Dance Convention yesterday, Saturday, May 20, 2012 at the Frying Pan Park in Herndon, VA. Congratulations to the Tiraz Dance Network's Board of Directors and convention organizers for bringing together the biggest and best event that they have hosted to date, with the most dancers (about two dozen performers) and an increased number of vendors.

Yippee! The Kindle Version of "Unveilng: The Inner Journey" - Available Tonight!

Kindle Version of Unveiling: The Inner Journey - Available Through Amazon

Tonight, darlings!

At long last, tonight!

If you've not bought your own Unveiling for yourself just yet - for any reason - now's your chance. As of this evening (Wednesday, April 25, 2012) you should be able to order the Kindle e-reader version.

• Download to your e-reader, or
• Download to your your computer, if you don't yet have an e-reader.

Want even better news?

I've signed up for a special program, "KDP Select." This functions as a free lending library. Meaning, if you own a Kindle device, and are a "Kindle Prime member," then if you download Unveiling (during the next 90 days only),
you can share it for free with friends, family, fellow dancers, etc. What a fabulous opportunity!

Let me know if you're doing this - it will be so much fun to hear from you! Post your comments directly to this blogsite, or email me at: alaynya (at) alaynya (dot) com.

Releasing Neck Tension (and Minimizing the Dreaded "Dowager's Hump")

Looking Younger - by Releasing Neck Tension

One of my dear friends exercises regularly. I see her often getting up in the morning, putting together a blender-full of a healthy protein and fruit smoothie, and heading out to the gym before she goes to work each day. She's resumed her "healthy lifestyle," and she's getting fitter and trimmer. Nevertheless, I keep seeing a persistent hunch-over in her shoulders and neck. It's the dreaded "dowager's hump" - and it has nothing to do with exercise!

Most of us have desk jobs. Between sitting at our desks, sitting in the car (with our shoulders brought forward as we grasp the wheel), and then sitting at home in the evenings, we are all too often in a posture that tightens our neck and hunches our shoulders forward. Even in our "leisure moments," we're reinforcing this posture. (Feel the posture that you're in while watching TV, doing texts and emails, and other digitally-based activities.)

One of the most notable signs of aging is our posture. Actually, it's a combination of posture and muscular/joint stiffness. "Limberness" is a sign of youth. Being hunched over, with a tight, drawn in neck, with rounded shoulders is a sign of both stress and aging. And when we get "fixated" in this kind of posture, we start looking like a turtle - one that is very reluctantly sticking its head out of its shell! That's the "dowager's hump" stage.

Surprisingly, not many fitness coaches and anti-aging gurus focus on this. But a tight neck, and tight shoulders, are not only absolute give-aways about aging, they also feel awful! It's hard to feel vigorous, lighthearted, and happy when our posture says that we're hunching over to avoide the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune"!

Perhaps even more surprisingly, the key to unlocking neck and shoulder tension (and releasing a "dowager's hump") starts not at our neck, but in our hips, pelvis, and lower back. As we release these areas, we begin to "mobilize" our spine. Once we do that, we can start releasing tension up and down our spines - reaching up into our neck. This is how we create a youthful, vibrant body!

I've just come back from a week at a client site. There were task-filled days, often be-bopping from one place to another, with the "to-do list" always on my mind. While I could do some stretch-outs, some yoga, and some walking while at my client's, it just wasn't ideal for my early-morning "sun salutation" yoga workout. And now, returning to home base, in the midst of unpacking and taking care of everyone's physical (and emotional) needs, I'm noticing a tight neck. And also, a tight back, and a very tight lower back and hip area. The secret? A combination of yoga and "belly dance basics" - a series of stretching and releasing exercises that are actually best done in bed, or on a soft and yielding surface. I've been combining that with deliberate breathing, opening up my diaphragms. And without even getting to my neck area, I'm already getting some release.

Our yoga practice doesn't have to be fancy, and we don't need to do lots of advanced poses. But just getting some "downward dog" and "sun salutations" in helps tremendously to release tension in our hips, lower back, and sacral area. And all of this is necessary before any form of dance can begin.

Book of the Month (April, 2012) - "Simply Irresistible" by Ellen T. White

Simply Irresistible: Unleash Your Inner Siren by Ellen T. White

"Simply Irresistible" by Ellen T. White is a delightful and lively little book; a perfect read for a summer vacation, a weekend at home during a snowstorm, or for a book club (with just the "right" other readers!).



Of various other books that are similar, and which I know and love (e.g., "Seductress," by Betsy Prioleau, and "Mama Gena's School of the Womanly Arts" by Regena Thomaschauer), this one offers the special advantage of psychological insights, deftly drawn character studies (we always learn the most by studying examples), and a light, breezy style that makes this a perfect stress-antidote.





Ms. White organizes the book into two different Parts. Part One describes the various "types" of seductresses who snag their men. Part Two teaches the useful "skills and methods." Both of these approaches are useful, and I'm delighted that she included both - each well-supported with juicy little examples and historical vignettes.

What I found particularly surprising and delightful is that Ms. White's organization of "Inner Siren types" corresponds so closely with the known "feminine archetypes." Ms. White came up with the her different "Siren types" on her own; she was not following anyone's particular organization or structure. However, through her own observation, intuition, and insight, she came up with "types" that actually map onto well-known feminine archetypes. These were first put forth by Antonia Wolff (a student and client, and later the lover of the renowned Swiss psychologist Carl Jung), and later interpreted by Dr. Toni Grant in her popular 1980's book, "Being a Woman."



Ms. White independently intuited these different "Inner Siren" distinctions. She didn't come by these through formal study, but rather through careful observation, reflection, and logical thinking. I am thrilled that the distinctions that she's made match so beautifully to the "core archetypes" first posited by Wolff and popularized by Grant, and (as of summer, 2011) introduced more completely as aspects of the "six core power archetypes" in my own book, "Unveiling: The Inner Journey."



The "Siren Types" introduced by White are:

• The "Sex Kitten" - most easily understood as an archetypal role. Marilyn Monroe is the penultimate "Sex Kitten." This is the Hathor archetype in one version; specialized as a sexual playmate. By the time that the "Sex Kitten" has fully evolved her persona, she is less who she really is, and more a projection of what she believes that a man wants her to be. As a result, she is often confused and unhappy - but she has exceptional allure with men!
  
• The "Companion" - a much more evolved version of the "Sex Kitten." She's intelligent and witty, and builds great relationships. (These often help the men in her life.) Ms. White cites the famous Lady Randolph Churchill as a "Companion Siren." Another good instance would be Veronica Franco, a sixteenth-century Italian courtesan who was also a woman of letters. Together, these two "Siren Types" ("Sex Kitten" and "Companion") combine to create our Hathor archetype; Hathor is the Egyptian goddess of beauty, love, sensual pleasure in all its forms (including wine, perfume, song, and dance), and - of course - sexual pleasure!
  
• The "Competitor" - a true Amazon. The "Competitor Siren" is exciting because she inhabits a man's world as an equal, and often dares him to "master" her in terms of achieving challenging feats. Ms. White cites Beryl Markham as a "Competitor Siren." Other famous Competitors - this time from our movie genre - include the redoubtable Mrs. Emma Peel from "The Avengers," and the Lara Croft character in the "Tomb Raider" movie and video game.
  
• The "Mother" - a caretaking role. The "Mother" corresponds to the classic Empress (or Isis, Egyptian mother-goddess) archetype. She is most concerned with providing nurturance. Ms. White offers Wallis, Duchess of Windsor as an example. Another famous "Mother" siren is Pamela Harriman.
  
• The "Goddess" - a much more remote and unreachable archetype. Ms. White offers Evita Peron as an example. While true "Goddess" instances are rare, many of us find ourselves drawn to the High Priestess archetype - which is centered on her own inner wisdom and knowing. Being centered in herself, and not in a man, makes this type alluring; there is always the "thrill of the chase" when seeking attention from a Goddess/High Priestess!

Great minds think alike. I love Ms. White's examples, and Part Two of her book offers many more, along with useful tips and hints. Her book is one that I will cheerfully recommend to students and friends alike, and reread myself, just to brush up on pointers!

"Sound Barriers" and Personal Breakthroughs

Pushing Through the "Sonic Wall" - Not Easy, But Doable (with Patience, Persistence, Fortitude, and Time)

Have you ever broken through the sound barrier? I haven't; not in an aircraft at least. But in personal life, in terms of processing - working through "stuff" - I certainly have.

Picture of a U.S. Navy F/A-18 breaking the sound barrier. The white halo formed by condensed water droplets is thought to result from a drop in air pressure around the aircraft at transonic speeds, from Wikipedia Commmons entry on Sound Barrier

The Sanskrit term for penetrating the personal "sound barrier" - taken into the personal realm - is kriya. These kriyas are not only known, but usual and expected.

As a yoga students starts "processing" - both by doing physical yoga poses and the meditations - they start to have their "stuff" come out. This can be physical; jerks and spasms while doing yoga postures. It can also be emotional; huge "waves" of feeling come over and through a person during these times.

I first learned the term kriya from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way:

As we notice which friends bore us, which situations leave us stifled, we are often rocked by waves of sorrow. We may want our illusions back! ... And thanks to the morning pages we learn what we want and ultimately become willing to make the changes needed to get it. But not without a tantrum. And not without a kriya, a Sanskrit word meaning a spiritual emergency or surrender. (I always think of kriyas as spiritual seizures. Perhaps they should be spelled crias becasue they are cries of the soul as it is wrung through changes.)

We all know what a kriya looks like: it is the bad case of the flu right after you've broken up with your lover. It's the rotten head cold and bronchial cough that announces you've abused your health to meet an unreachable work deadline. That asthma attack out of nowhere when you've just done a round of caretaking your alcoholic sibling? That's a kriya, too.

Always significant, frequently psychosomatic, kriyas are the final insult our psyche adds to our injuries. "Get it"? a kriya asks you.

[The Artist's Way, pp. 81-82]

The term kriya, though, actually means so much more. Translated from the Sanskrit, kriya really means a "completed action." There is, in fact, a whole yoga practice built around kriyas; it entails the physical postures (asanas), energy work, specialized breathing (pranayama) and visualization. In short, kriya yoga is exactly what we are doing in dance form. (Look for more about kriya yoga over these next few years, as I learn more and infuse what I learn into what we are doing.)

Whether yoga or dance, this is all a part of our pathworking. And the important thing about a kriya being a "completed action"? It means that a person has broken through a personal "sound barrier." They've managed to get to the other side of a huge wall of personal resistance.

Not without cries and tumult. Not without tears in the night. Not without wondering if we're just crazy, or if our lives have been a total loss.

The early attempts to penetrate the "physical" sound barrier all met with resounding failure. The planes simply bucked and shuddered, and couldn't get through. It took many passes, many redesigns, and many different efforts over many years, before the first breakthroughs occurred.

Are you going through a kriya? (I was, over the last two months.) If so, the following from the Wikipedia entry on the sound barrier may interest you:

On page 13 of the "Me 262 A-1 Pilot's Handbook" issued by Headquarters Air Materiel Command, Wright Field, Dayton, Ohio as Report No. F-SU-1111-ND on January 10, 1946:

Speeds of 950 km/h (590 mph) are reported to have been attained in a shallow dive 20° to 30° from the horizontal. No vertical dives were made. At speeds of 950 to 1,000 km/h (590 to 620 mph) the air flow around the aircraft reaches the speed of sound, and it is reported that the control surfaces no longer affect the direction of flight. The results vary with different airplanes: some wing over and dive while others dive gradually. It is also reported that once the speed of sound is exceeded, this condition disappears and normal control is restored.

The comments about restoration of flight control and cessation of buffeting above Mach 1 are very significant in a 1946 document.

In case you didn't get it, let me restate: "... the control surfaces no longer affect the direction of flight."

That means, while we're going through a kriya, our lives go all to hell. Our usual means of "controlling" what goes on - in and around our lives - just don't work anymore. (Sound familiar to anyone? It describes my last two months to a "T.")

The relief is that "once the speed of sound is exceeded, this condition disappears and normal control is restored." In short, once we've passed through the kriya (the crisis, or spiritual emergence), we get some control again.

For those of us going through such crises - now, in the past, or to come - understanding this process and knowing that we regain "normal control" on the other side is most reassuring. Not to mention that we'll have pierced our own personal "sound barrier." We'll be flying in a totally different realm.

Exciting, hmm?

"A Course in Miracles" - The First Quarterly Report

The "Miracles" Happening During "A Course in Miracles" - First Quarter

For the past several years, my strongest desire has been to "router-root" out my life. An entire "life transformation." Not just a cosmetics or wardrobe makeover. Not a new job or new relationship. My core desire has been an entire, from-the-inside out transformation.

Everything that I've done over the past several years has been part of the same transformational process.

This has been nonlinear. Highly nonlinear. I can't write out some sort of "strategic plan." This transformation-from-within has been coming about very organically, and mostly - what I'm doing is "listening in." I try to clear the superficial "crud" from the surface of my mind, and let whatever is burbling up come through.

Some might call this meditation.

I call it "cleaning house" - which occurs on more levels than one.

The biggest overt step that I've taken has been to start A Course in Miracles . I began several months ago, and yes - the "miracles" have been happening.



There are "daily exercises" associated with A Course in Miracles. (Many people simply refer to this as ACIM.) Right now, I'm on "Workbook Lesson" Number 105 ("God's Peace and Joy are Mine.") This means that I've been at this - officially - for a little over a quarter of a year.

What "miracles," you might ask?

It's different for every person.

My friend Artie has dealt with three major challenges in terms of people who've been very special in his life. Although he already had a great deal of spiritual maturity and insight before he began the Course, he and I both agree that there is no way that he could have handled this past year had he not been doing ACIM.

Artie reports that someone in his ACIM group has had a very challenging high-level executive job, with a major company. This man's bosses recently gave him an additional task - a very complex and difficult one. He credits ACIM with being able to get these very difficult work-related challenges back on track. He still doesn't leave the office "on time," but even with all that's going on, he leaves the office earlier than before.

Over the past three months, I've observed the following:

• Month 1: I had a few days in which my energy level was sufficient to let me "surge" a couple of times. For example, I usually get up very early. (4:30 AM is my norm.) This means that if I'm to have any functionality in the evening at all, I need a nap in the late afternoon. But a few times, I had to "push." I'd start at 4:30, and work straight through, and then have a meeting or some commitment in the evening. I managed to do the meetings - and be awake, alert, and functional. (That's the real miracle.) This happened only a couple of times - but enough for me to notice.
• Month 2: Somehow, I seemed to be able to "get things done" with less mental "churn" getting in the way. You know how our minds kick up "stuff" when we have to do a task that we don't particularly like? Well, I found that I was able to simply "get to things" a bit more directly. This included the things that I did't like. (This was in January, and I got a whole lot of drudgery background work done for marketing. And as a result, sales, bloghits, and a number of other measures went up significantly.)
• Month 3: The real transformation started. I had an overwhelming desire to "clean house." And yes, I'd been working on getting "the house" back to rights for almost a year. (Since a few months before publishing Unveiling.) Also, for many of us, the "spring cleaning" surge starts around February. But this year, mine was accompanied by an "inner storm." My body needed to move; to do gross motor tasks that involved bending, lifting, moving heavy things, etc. And I did a whole lot of that. As a result, the house is now "officially" clean. (There are still isolated pockets of resistance, but will get to them over time.) This includes a great deal of paperwork clean-up as well, and that's the real "paper tiger."

Now I'm in Month 4. The "miracle" that's underway? All my life what I've really wanted to do has been to create art. And instead, I've pushed myself into various intellectual and corporate roles. Right now, though, I'm cleaning and reorganizing my art room. I'm desiging a clothing collection on the theme of "orchids." I've actually DONE some sketches (in the last month) - more than I've done in years.

More "reports from the front lines" to come. Especially - any word of progress on my "Orchids: Tame and Wild" collection!

It's OK If This Is Becoming a Bit Compulsive ...

Housecleaning - Inside and Out

Housecleaning can become a bit compulsive.

And this is really ok.

It's especially ok if the house really needs to be cleaned, as mine has.

Last year, between March 21st (Vernal Equinox) and April 1st, I took stock.

I realized that my energy was low. ("I can't even spell 'marketing plan'," I wrote in my journal.) Unveiling was close to launch date - not yet quite there, but I could really, realistically see it coming. (And at that, it still took another three months before I held the first physical Unveiling copies.) But as the launch-hour approached, life (and my overall energy) seemed to be slowing down.

This sense of how much more difficult it is to complete a major life transition is not unusual at all. There is even an analogy to how things work out in nature: physicists know the phenomenon called "critical slowing down" - the fact that just before a system changes state (water to steam, for example), we can put in a whole lot of "energy" and still not see much difference. It just becomes harder and harder to gain a single degree of temperature. Any woman who has borne children knows that the last few months - and weeks and days and hours - are the most difficult. There's a time (so I'm told) when you just want that baby born, no matter what. And for those of us who've taken on any project, we know that the early "blocking out" stages can happen quickly - from building a house to painting a picture to changing our body shape. It's filling in the details that takes so much time.

Add to this one more important factor: when we're getting close to the "finish line" for any big life project, we can't let go. It might be completing a book, a degree, a renovation project. And simultaneously, the "project" - whatever it is - consumes our life. There really is no time left for anything else.

The point is: We do transform our lives. We do take on what are truly heroic quests and challenges. And while we are doing these - and going through the last very difficult stages - the rest of our lives unravel. The house gets dirty. Important relationships are not maintained. (At least, not with the diligence that we usually muster.) This would be the year that the vegetable garden gets sparse and weedy, and we don't even think about putting up vegetables that summer.

Balance is lovely. Balance feels good, and so does a clean house, a set of well-maintained friendships, and a beautiful, thriving vegetable garden. But when we are doing a Heroic Quest, we forsake balance.

Balance is something that we recapture later. And it may take time. In my case, it's taken me a year - that's right, a full year - to get the house and grounds cleaned up. And I've really, truly been working pretty hard at it. Most especially, over this month of February.

So you haven't heard much from me this last month. I love you just as much as ever. And I've been thinking about you while cleaning out the storage room. (And when I swept mouse dung and dust off the high utility shelves - and got whif-fuls of it, and came down with allergy-induced headaches later - well, lesson learned for next time.)

Cleaning, de-gunking, and organizing - restoring balance, harmony, and joy - takes time. This is a transition. Not quite a Quest, but a post-Quest mop-up.

So if we have been Questing lately - we need to recognize that post-Quest, it takes a little time to get life back in order.

And have you been Questing? Do you want to know more about a Heroine's Quest (versus the classic Hero's)? Learn more: online radio talk show on the Heroic Quest with moderator Dennis Tardan.

"Pathworking" Involves Cleaning - At All Levels

Pathworking - Starting the New Year, Cleaning Out Our Lives

The "new year," effectively, begins right about now. Really, it started last week - February 2nd. This was the Feast of Candlemas (the Festival of Lights). It was Imholc (in the older traditions), and Groundhog Day (in the newer ones). In Druidic times, this was the true start of the "new year." Other cultures, notably the Chinese, start their new year with a celebration around this time of year. Truly, our juices don't begin to flow - we don't begin to shake off some of winter's hibernation - until we start to get more light in the sky, beginning in early February.

Now on a simple girlfriend-to-girlfriend level, I'll let you know: January was hard. I didn't get out, and didn't party. Instead, I focused down and worked my way through that month. And the results are in; they're good, and I'm really pleased to have put in all that effort.

There's another thing that I started - right after Christmas (right during the "Twelve Days of Solstice," in fact). I got started on paperwork clean-ups. And as you probably know, this is a long chore. There's probably not a one of us who can burn through our entire paperwork stack in just one evening, or even a weekend.

For me, it's been multiple rounds of wrestling with the "Paper Tiger"; the piles, bags, and boxes of papers that have accrued over the months (and even prior years). Frankly, I feel that basement and garage clean-outs are easier.

Which brings me to: Basement and garage clean-outs. Specifically (because our garages are still pretty cold right now) to basement clean-outs. And I've been cleaning out mine (with the help of a sturdy and dedicated housemate). We've put in three "sessions," and have made a dent. Not done, but a good strong dent. We feel encouraged. We feel that progress has been made, and that if we stay with this, we'll even be done. (Some day.)

The point is: Basement cleaning - and paperwork cleaning - and life-cleaning of all sorts - is the kind of thing that we start right around now. And it's part of our Unveiling process. It's an integral part of pathworking.

In Chapter 19 of Unveiling, "A Sacred Time, A Sacred Space," I write:

After we find and designate our sacred space, we cleanse. We cleanse thoroughly. This is important.

This is the actual physical cleaning of any aspect of our lives; our basements, our closets, our stacks of paperwork or sets of unanswered emails. It can be physical; if we are into body "cleanses," this is often the time that we take on a little bit of a juice fast or introduce some tonics into our lives. (Even without that degree of rigor, we show more interest in fresh salads, and less of a need for chocolate cream-cheese brownies. Well, that depends on the weather.)

At the same time, whenever we take on some cleansing process in our physical worlds, or even in our bodies, we are allowing the same process to take place inside our minds. We begin our "inner house-cleaning" - as I described in Chapter 28, "Going Deeper." During one of my own Inanna-descents, I found that cleaning out my "inner basement" led to cleaning out deeper and deeper levels - none of which were pretty! (In fact, it felt like excavating sub-basements filled with swamp-mold and muck!)

Yet this is one of the most important things we can do. In fact, we have an archetype whose purpose is to help us with just this! This is our inner Hestia. Hestia was the ancient Greek goddess of "hearth and home." She was not into the relational aspects; she was not so much about the great love. Instead, she was more one for keeping the garden tended, pickling the vegetables, and cleaning the kitchen afterwards.

Hestia doesn't get a lot of attention. Yet our Hestia mode is one of the most useful things that we have going for us. She keeps the underpinnings of our lives together - the day-to-day things that lets our Amazon conquer new worlds, our Isis/Empress have her nurturing time with children and friends, our High Priestess to have contemplation, and our Hathor to have time for sensuality and for play.

Did I mention that our Hestia doesn't get a lot of respect? More to the point, she doesn't get a whole lot of recognition. I didn't even mention her in Unveiling!

That's because I didn't understand her until after the book was nearly done. In the ensueing months, though, I've had a better understanding. And I wrote about her recently as a core archetype in the Unveiling blog; see Hestia and also - for a birds-eye view of our complete archetype set, The Unveiling Archetypes and the Jungian Dimensions. (Look for Hestia in the top right quadrant of the figure; she's in between the High Priestess and Empress/Isis.)

Cultivating our inner Hestia is an important part of our pathworking; our day-to-day journey. When we do the practical things on the outer, our minds free up to do the inner work. "Wax on, wax off," Mr. Miyagi advised young Dan in the original Karate Kid movie.

And a special point: The deeper our "internal cleaning," the deeper we go into the back corners and stored piles of "stuff" in our everyday, practical lives. The inner and the outer aspects reflect each other. Before we are fully empowered to glow in our newly-polished Hathor mode, or before we reach the true nuggets of wisdom that we gain from our High Priestess, we spend hours cleaning and scrubbing the pantry, digging out the basement, and taking carloads of things to Goodwill. The path to beauty, peace, freedom, and joy begins with cleaning up stacks of old bills and emails!

One final word: The time to do this is now. I hate it for you, dear one, and I hate it for me as well. But the best time to get this "housecleaning" done - inside and out - is before the robins arrive, before the trees are green, and before we are so in love with the love that's going on around us!

To your joyous unfolding and the sturdy progress of your own pathworking -

With much love - Alay'nya

Recharging Our Eating Plan with Healthy Foods (And Welcoming in the New Year!)

How to Kick-Start a Healthy Eating Plan for the New Year

Can I just say this straight?

Diets don't work.

Diets, or any sense of deprivation - any sense of "I can't have this" or "I can't have as much of this as I'd like" - just doesn't work as a way to live our lives.

May I also say: this is still early February. We are just coming out of hibernation. And like good old bears, we still want to "carb up."

To make things worse, we're being bombarded with magazines showing us images of barely post-pubescent young women; those who have the ultra-firm flat tummies, the carefully sculpted bottoms, and scarcely a half-ounce of extra body fat.

Nuts to that, I say! (In fact, nuts are a really good idea - protein, carbs, fiber ... but okay, that's a different post.)

Sauteed Brussels Sprouts with Lemon and Pistachios; Bon Appetit, February, 2008. Recipe by Dan Barber. Photograph by Lisa Hubbard

Right now, we're barely getting out of our caves.

We're a few days post Imholc/Candlemas/Groundhog Day. (Pick your holiday of choice.) There's no question; we are starting to feel a bit better. There's more light in the sky now. The days are just a bit longer. And we're having an early spring. The daffodils are up; the trees show signs of early budding.

But it's still February.

So the big question is: How to recharge our diets and exercise patterns?

The answer is: Gravitate towards that which makes us feel good. So instead of forcing ourselves towards anything - especially anything that is a little stringent or unnatural - we instead invite ourselves - gently and lovingly and with the greatest nurturance and care possible - to do those things that will help us feel better.

This often means cooking our own food, from scratch. Using the best possible natural ingredients that we can find - especially healthy fresh vegetables.

But if you're like me, then breaking off whatever you're doing sometimes just seems like too much work. And cooking up anything when getting home from work seems like way too much effort.

So here's what I'm doing to get myself going; you might want to do the same:

• Put up good-foods pictures where you'll see them. Right now, I'm looking at a picture of brussels sprouts. Yes, brussels sprouts - with pistachios and lemon. And I'm about to pull this picture out of the magazine, trim the edges neatly, put it into a plastic sleeve holder, and tape that to one of my kitchen cupboards. And I'll do the same with a picture of a fresh salad of mixed greens (when I find one). And similarly with one or two more really invigorating and inspiring recipes. Why? Because we're visual creatures. We respond to stimulation. And at this time of the year, in particular, we crave visual, tactile, and olfactory stimulus. So - we provide ourselves with stimulus and inspiration, and action follows.
  
• Pre-process your raw veggies as soon as you get home What can you say to a raw cauliflower? Not much, really. So as I'm unpacking the bags of raw veggies, I try to do what I can to get them ready for later cooking. I take the leaves off the cauliflower, and core out the bottom end. And I try to do other things that make it possible to get meals together just a bit more easily later in the week. The biggest drawback to eating more healthily - that means, more veggies (both cooked and raw) - is that they take more prep time. A whole lot of washing and cutting and fussing. The other thing that seems to work is to take the veggies, a cutting board, and necessary knives and bowls in to watch some TV. This is a sort of "low-energy" task - something to do when a little too tired to do anything really energetic or creative, but not quite completely zoned out. It's a good way to prep veggies for salads, stir-fries, soups, and other uses.
  
• Prioritize veggie-intensive food preps for early in the day, when there's still some energy. I try to plan and prep whatever my meals will be as early in the day as possible. At this time of year, this often means a soup or a slow-cooked meal. If I can get this started early - before getting into the other tasks and priorities - then the food is ready later on, when I'm hungry. I may even pre-prep a salad, and put it in the fridge with a cover over the dish. And also even make a little mustard/honey/olive-or-grapeseed oil/balsamic dressing. Always tastes better than the store-bought. I'll make this up and store in the fridge, and this minimizes reaching for the store-bought back-up dressing. (Think about this: You're more likely to purchase quality ingredients when you make your own dressing. And you're more likely to add in little extra heath-giving "extras" when you make it yourself.)
  

That's it, really. Focus on the feel-good foods; especially the veggies. And make the cream-cheese brownies when you need them; if you have enough in the way of brussels sprouts and salads, everything else takes care of itself.

One final thing: With warmer days, it's time to get outside once again. I'm looking forward to a lengthy walk today; a couple of miles at least. As soon as the sidewalks or streets are ice-free, and the wind is not so chill, it's time to get some fresh air and exercise. And being outside is so much more fun and invigorating than being on a treadmill in a gym!

To your health, happiness, and an overall glorious New Year! - yours - Alay'nya

The Most Important Thing ...

Release the Sacrum to Release Personal Energy

The most important thing we can do - in our dance training, or in whatever body art that we practice - is to release our sacral area. This allows energy to flow. (It also allows our movements to be more natural and spontaneous.) By "sacrum," I really mean the entire sacral area - our sacro-ileac joints, the lumbar-sacral connection (and the lumbar area itself), and the sacral-coccyx area.

Yoga is probably the best way to start the release pattern, along with hip flexion stretches. Tai chi and chi kung-type moves also help to release this area, particularly if we pay attention to how we are using our natural intrinsic strength to hold ourselves upright. See Peter Ralston's work for more information and teaching on this.

"Circulating the Body of Light" - Works Best After Ch'i Development

Cultivating Intrinsic Personal Energy (Ch'i) - Essential to "Circulating the Body of Light"

Circulating the body of light is an esoteric energy practice; sort of at the early-graduate-school ability-level. It is something that all of us who do energy work typically include as part of our practice.

All too often, those of us who do intentional and directed energy work (i.e., "magic") focus on visualization-style practices. This is important and good, but it leaves out two important components:

• 1) Actually creating and building up our internal energy - so that we have something "worth the play," and
• 2) Learning to move actual intrinsic energy, or ch'i, up our spines, and
• 3) Releasing tension blockages throughout our bodies that enable us to move energy effectively.

It's important to do ch'i-cultivation exercises as a part of our regular routine. I've recently included the classic Chinese silk-weaving exercises into my daily practice, along with some chi kung; together, these help ramp up my intrinsic energy level, giving me more "oomph" for the visualization and energy circulation (aka "body of light") work. This is a lot like adding a few more extra logs to the fire; if we really want to heat something up (such as manifesting an intention, or creating a shift in our lives), then it helps to have a bit more extra "oomph."

I gave several good resources for this in a previous blogpost Creating Personal Energy.

My friend and colleague, Donald Michael Kraig, has an excelleng understanding of these matters (and has written several books on this subject). See his excellent radio interview transcript on sex magic. Also, you might check out both his blogs and his books; see DM Kraig's website.

You might, of course, also read, study, and practice what I describe in Chapter 29: "Pragmatic Esoterics", of my own recent book, Unveiling: The Inner Journey.

And just as a gentle reminder: This is relatively advanced practice. Think of what is described in books such as The Secret as "undergraduate level." What DM Kraig describes in his (now in its third edition) "Modern MagicK Twelve Lessons in the High Magickal Arts" is equivalent to a thorough and demanding (although still very accessible) introductory graduate-level text. (It's not that the concepts are hard; it's simply the execution and practice that takes discipline.) Chapter 29 of my own book is essential a precis for a similarly-demanding course of study; mine emphasizes more the physical and internal-energy components. Taken together, along with the references described in a previous posting (see link above) will essentially comprise a very good initial graduate-level training in energy cultivation, circulation, and direction.

Morocco's "You Asked Aunt Rocky" - Fascinating Read, Significant Contribution!

Morocco's You Asked Aunt Rocky - A Major Contribution to Dance Ethnography!

Morocco's You Asked Aunt Rocky - the culmination of years of study, travel, practice, ad writing - has just been released via Lulu. I've just submitted a review article to The Belly Dance Chronicles, for their April/May/June issue, and also published a five-star review on Lulu.com, where it already has three other five-star reviews.

Currently, you can order You Asked Aunt Rocky directly from Lulu.com, and it will be available from Amazon.com by March.

In the Shallow Waters - The "Real" Origins of Oriental Dance!

We Learned to Dance as We Learned to Swim: The Real Origins of Oriental Dance

At the end of this month, Delilah will be hosting her famous wintertime dance retreat in Hawai'i. What a perfect escape from the mid-winter blues and blahs!

There's a special reason to join Delilah this year. In fact, there are TWO special reasons.

First, she's actually holding two back-to-back retreats. The first, from Jan 29th thru Feb. 3rd, features Special Guest Teacher Fahtiem, and gives participants to learn Fahtiem's exquisitely beautiful style. The second, from Feb. 4th through Feb. 9th, features Special Guest Teacher Jennifer Earle, and introduces the womenly self-defense art of Nia. What a fabulous way to combine both strength and beauty! And in the most luscious setting possible.

There's a second - really important - reason to get to one of Delilah's Hawai'i retreats. She actually gets her dancers out into the water! And there's something special - something almost magical - that happens when we do Oriental dance (belly dance) in the water. Our bodies return to - they viscerally re-member - how it is that our art came about.

While much can be said of how Oriental dance grew out of ancient folk dances from the Mid-East, and there can even be a claim for dances in earliest recorded human times, I'd like to suggest that we - as humans - learned to dance even earlier. Our dance is a natural response to spending time in the water.

In her groundbreaking book, The Descent of Women, author Elaine Morgan makes the significant claim that humans evolved through a series of two major progressions; one where we went into the water (in the heat of the Pliocene era. Essentially, she says, we "went to the beach." We spent a lot of time out in tidal bays and lagoons. In these soft, gentle, shallow water, we withstood the Pliocene heat waves.

Now, I'm going to suggest - based on my personal research in "unveiling" movement patterns intrinsic to our bodies - that our art form began when we were in the water, and our bodies naturally adapted to the gentle pull of tides and waves. When we went ashore in the evening, and built campfires, some of us made music on drums and other simple instruments. Others of us - danced! We did, on smooth beaches around a driftwood campfire, what our bodies had done all day in the water. We did undulations, figure eights, and snake arms.

And that, dear friends, is what I believe to be the true story of the origins of the dance. Various "courtship gestures" became incorporated later. We evolved other patterns as well. But the fundamentals? The ones that are deeply ingrained in our bodies - so that we really only have to remember them? They come from our origin as a species. From a time when we went to the beach, played in the water during the day, and danced on the beach in the evenings.

I've always wanted to recreate this experience, and last summer I had the chance - my dear friend Nicole Cutts, Founder of Vision Quest Retreats for women - invited me to teach a private group. We did "belly dance" in the pool! You can see the YouTube link on her Facebook page.

Some Insights from Elaine Morgan's Descent of Woman

The following are a few selected quotes from the Descent of Woman. I heartily recommend that you get the book and enjoy the read! It had a profound impact on me when it first came out in the 1970's, and will probably influence how you think also!

Long long ago, then, back in the mild Miocene, there was a generalized vegetarian prehomind hairy ape. She had not yet developed the high-powered brain which today distinguishes woman from all other species. (p. 16)

[Alay'nya's note: The Pliocene heat wave started, drying up the woods in which we had lived. Pre-humans were forced into grasslands.]

She also couldn’t digest grass; she also had a greedy and hectoring mate; she also lacked fighting canines; she also was hampered by a clinging infant; and she also was chased by a carnivore and found there was no tree she could run up to escape. However, in front of her there was a large sheet of water. With piercing squeals of terror she ran straight into the sea. The carnivore was a species of cat and didn’t like wetting his feet; and moreover, though he had twice her body weight, she was accustomed like most tree-dwellers to adopting an upright posture, even though she used four legs for locomotion. She was thus able to go farther into the water than he could without drowning. She went right in up to her neck and waited there clutching her baby until the cat got fed up with waiting and went back to the grasslands. (pp. 20-21)

She switched easily, almost without noticing it, from eating small scuttling insects to eating small scuttling shrimps and baby crabs. There were thousands of seabirds nesting on the cliffs, and as she had a firm handgrip and a good head for heights she filled another empty ecological niche as an egg collector. (p. 21)

Whenever anything alarming happened on the landward side – or sometimes just because it was getting so hot – she would go back into the water, up to her waist, or even up to her neck.” (pp. 21-22)

She spent so much time in the water that her fur became nothing but a nuisance to her. (p. 23) (Alay'nya's note: As a result, she lost her body fur and kept the long fur on her head – which grew even longer, so her infant could grab it and get back to Mommy.)

In short, we evolved. We went from tree-dwellers to grassland-dwellers to beach-dwellers. And we stayed on the beaches for a long, long time. In the water – in the safe, calm waters of gentle bays and lagoons – we became human. We learned to walk upright. We developed a new set of facial gestures and expressions. We learned to use speech. (Sound carries very well over water – even when sunlight is glinting off the waves and it is difficult to see someone who is further away.)

And guess what? It was most likely within this soft, gentle, safe environment that we developed the fine art of belly dance.

Our bodies swayed with the seaweed when we were in the water. We naturally – and instinctively – developed our “undulations.”

Our hands and arms rested naturally and gracefully on the water’s surface. And we naturally – and instinctively – developed our “snake arms.”

And then, when the sun went down, and we went ashore, and made fires from driftwood and cooked the shellfish and eggs that we’d collected during the day, we danced around the fire. Simply because it was fun, and we had nothing else to do. We did it to play!

The end effect? Our human intelligence, our playfulness, and our happiness are all tied up with that wonderful time in our evolutionary history when we all collectively took a beach vacation. A “vacation” that lasted several million years.

This year – let’s take a beach vacation again, and join Delilah with guest teachers Fahtiem (Jan 29 – Feb 3rd) and Jennifer Earle (Feb 4th – 9th). Visit Sign up today!

Priming Our "Fountain of Youth" - Raw Foods in Winter

Cranberry Salad (A Wintertime Raw Food Energy Stimulator)

Winter is a time for meditation and reflection. Certainly, our bodies become quieter. Our need for sleep is natural at this time of year. But as we turn inwards, we need to cultivate a balance. We need a certain amount of liveliness in our bodies, even during this quieter time.

We know that raw fruits and veggies are good for us. Sometimes, though, a piece of raw food is not the first thing that crosses our mind when we want winter foods.

The trick is to work with raw food recipes that give us all the nutrients that we need, and which also feel satisfying.

Recently, I had some evening quiet time, after spending the day cleaning along with the Pick-Up-and-Put-Away (PUPA) steps so necessary to bring order, harmony, beauty and joy to life. At the end, I was bushed. Fortunately, I had quiet time alone, and so I petted my cats, gave them some treats, and sat down to watch TV with a chopping board on my lap and my favorite veggies-cutting knife in hand. I made the following recipe for a holiday cranberry salad – all raw – and very eatable on its own. And just super-full of healthy vitamins and such!

Alay’nya’s Christmas Cranberry Salad - Maximal Healthy Winter Raw Foods!

• 1 bag of fresh cranberries, washed. (You might do this with half the bag, save the rest to wash and use later.) As you go along, feeling through them, toss out the ones that are soft. Cut the ones that are firm – first into halves, then again into quarters. (If you have a food processor, you might do a very loose and light chop. But if you don’t, or just want to have something to do with your hands while watching TV, then hand-chop.)
• Oranges or clementines - For every cup of cranberries, you’ll want between ½ cup to a full cup of freshly cut orange slices. Just peel the oranges, pull apart the segments, then chop these into smaller pieces. Guestimate proportions; you don’t need to be exact. For a half-bag of cranberries, this could be two large navel oranges, or 3 or 4 smaller ones. You can use clementines if those are what you have at hand.
• Celery – about two large, fresh sticks – choose from the inner part of the celery heart where the celery is sweetest. Cut off any green leaves (use to put in your raw foods juicer, a stew or soup or stuffing). Cut the celery into small pieces. All these fruit & veggie pieces should be about the same size.
• Walnuts – about a half-cup. Cut into small pieces.
  Mix the chopped fruits, celery, & nuts in a large bowl. This is a lovely give-away present to health-conscious friends and family. You can eat this by the forkful as a snack.

This will last for a bit in the fridge, but should be eaten within 4-5 days. It's a great way to get a fabulous salad made while watching a bit of evening TV!

Remember the food-combining rules: Eat “like with like.” So it’s actually best NOT to put this raw fruit-based salad with other foods. Instead, eat it early in the day as a snack before other meals.

Remember also – your stomach uses different levels of pH and enzymes to digest different kinds of food. It digests protein differently from starches. So if you have a meal of meat, fish, or eggs, try to NOT have your starches (potatoes, rice, breads, etc.) at the same time – although you can eat as many veggies (cooked and/or raw) with your protein as you like. So choose whether you’re having a “protein-based” or “carbs/starches-based” meal.

And up your consumption of “healthy oils” during the winter – they help soften your skin, and they transport the fat-based vitamins throughout your body. Avocado is good. Make your own salad dressings with high-quality olive oil and/or grapeseed oil, with a nice balsamic vinegar or a splash of lime. Add some flaxseed oil as well. (Omega-3’s and other healthy things.)

Here's to your health, wellness, and overall well-being - as we bring the year to a close, and look forward to the year ahead!

"Where Are the Initiated Men of Power Today?" - An Answer to Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette

To Find the "Initiated Men of Power" - Seek Out the Martial Arts Masters

Leaders of the men's movement today are addressing the question brought before them by young men:

"In a Bill Moyers interview with poet Robert Bly ... a young man asked the question, 'Where are the initiated men of power today?' We have written this book in order to answer this question, which is on the minds of both men and women. In the beginning of the twenty-first century, we face a crisis in the masculine identity of vast proportions. Increasingly, observers of the contemporary scene - sociologists, anthropologists, and depth psychologists - are discovering the devastating dimensions of this phenomenon, which affects each of us personally as much as it affects our society as a whole."

(See Robert Moore's website page for this quote and also for an introduction to the excellent book by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, written to answer this question.

See also my review of Moore and Gillette's book on today's Unveiling webpage, Moore and Gillette; King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.



The question is a real one. In all of our mythic Heroic Quests, the young man is tutored by a sage, someone whom we'll call a Hierophant - a "wise older man" who can guide the young man towards full adulthood. In his excellent book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman describes his teacher Socrates.



In the movie Star Wars, Luke Skywalker is tutored first by Obi-wan Kenobi, then by Yoda. In The Karate Kid (1984 version), Dan is tutored by a martial arts master, Mr. Miyagi.

What is consistent here? Young men are taught by martial arts masters. This is the classic initial stage of the Hero's Journey.

Socrates, Obi-wan Kenobi and Yoda, and Mr. Miyagi - together with numerous similar characters in fiction and film - are idealizations. But the "real versions" exist!

In Unveiling: The Inner Journey, I credit two martial arts masters with whom it has been a great privilege to study. Robert Fusaro Sensei, 7th Dan, Founder of Midwest Karate Association, and Peter Ralston, founder of both the Cheng Hsin school and the martial arts discipline of that name, are masters who are substantial and very authentic. Further, diligent search of the martial arts schools and systems in most cities will reveal others who are competent teachers; not only of martial arts, but also of life.

Even those who prefer something other than martial arts can benefit by the pathway to becoming a "Superior Man," as described by author Davide Deida.



Deida states "The two ways to bring you right to your masculine edge of power are austerity and challenge." (The Way of the Superior Man, p. 191)

Women are aware of whether or not men are willing to do this. As we observe men, we note whether they are creatures of comfort, or if they are afraid to disrupt their own "status quo." In essence, we note their courage - their willingness to accept both discomfort ("austerity") and their willingness to step beyond their safety zone ("challenge").

So for all men who are looking for a pathway: Seek out austerity and challenge, as Deida suggests. Give up the TV and the video games, and spend time in a real dojo; study with a martial arts master. Push yourself into the wilderness and into your own wildness. Then see how your woman responds to you. (Or if you are not in a relationship, then observe what sorts of women begin to be attracted to you.)

Using Breathing to Heal

Breathing, Belly Dance, and Breakthroughs - Part II

A week ago, I was enjoying a fabulous breakthrough. Something had shifted for me emotionally. (Still am not sure what.) My body released, some tension patterns had all but disappeared, I was happy, joyful, and confident. What's more, my energy surged. On Sunday of a week ago, I could barely get through the day, no matter how much B12 and ginseng I took in. The next day, all but forgetting about supplements, I breezed through the day and worked hard into the late evening, enjoying every moment.

And I had three more days just like that.

Until, Thursday evening, I felt this funny little warning "hotness" in my throat. I knew instinctively what it was, and recognized that my body was craving Vitamin C. I still went out to a meeting that night.

The next morning, my throat was red, raw, and painful. There was no longer any doubt or question. Whether strep throat or simply one of the worst colds of my life, it had landed!

So I stayed (more or less) calm throughout the weekend. I pulled back from all human contact, and let friends know that I wouldn't be at some events - even those which we'd been anticipating for months. I even minimized phone time.

By Sunday, my energy was low, and I spent most of the day in bed, alternating naps with listening to a book on CD.

So what caused this magnificent "fall from grace"? Was the breakthrough not real? (Well, actually, yes it was. I knew that the tension release, the freedom in movement, and the increased energy were all very real.)

What happened was simply a big "word from the Universe" that it was time to settle down. I had taken on too much. (Have STILL taken on too much.) I was behind on almost every promised task.

Setbacks such as these - whether flu or colds, or something more serious - are often the way that our Higher Self pulls us out of our nearly compulsive "to-do" list - where our entire cognitive focus, our identify, and most certainly our attention and time - are wrapped up in our "things to do."

So I'm doing all the expected and appropriate things. Fluids. Lots of rest. Vitamin C. More rest. Chicken soup. (And more rest.)

In short order, I'll find my paperwork, and go see a doctor. And I'll probably get a round of antibiotics. But healing doesn't come from the anti-biotics, per se. (Not saying that they can't be of great help.) Rather, the healing has to come from a shift from within, and it is to this that I'm giving my attention.

And oh yes - using "breathing to heal"? Yes, I'm doing that as well. Consciously circulating energy. Reaching out with my awareness, and catching little "energy waves"; bringing them in and moving this energy around my body. Doing the Silk-Weaving Exercises (a form of Chinese breathing and exercising exercises.

Breathing, Breakthroughs, and Belly Dance

Emotional Breakthroughs Show in Our Breathing, Body Movement, and Dance

Just yesterday, I had a breakthrough.

Now my life consists of "breakthroughs." I have them intellectually. (This is what gives me ideas for everything from blogposts to patents. There are several "breakthroughs" in Unveiling alone.) And I'm used to having physical breakthroughs as well; these have made me an effective dancer.

But yesterday something happened that was a bit unexpected, and I want to share it with you while the memory is fresh.

For the previous few months - post-Unveiling-publication - I'd been having a lot of fatigue. Through being kind and gentle with myself, through rest and (not-too-strenuous) exercise, through better diet and supplements, I was slowly getting better. But this improvement was wobbly, and after almost three months, I still wasn't back to full strength and power. In fact, just the day-before-yesterday, I'd had one of those days in which all the supplements in the world - all the vitamin B-12 and ginseng - were getting me off the launch pad but not quite into stable orbit.

And then, yesterday, several little things happened. I can't quite put my finger on any single one. But somehow, in the midst of all these "little things" - a real breakthrough occured.

The "little things"? Working my daily exercise with the Course in Miracles, which I started about two months ago. (If there is anything that is life-changing, this is it. And I was in huge resistance about one of those exercises, but somehow, wound up adopting the premise that it offered - that may have been a "pivot point.")



The "pivot point" may have been when Nimeera, another dancer with whom I met the day before, looked at me and said, "Breathe." (I didn't even know that I was holding my breath.)

It may have been waking up, realizing that I was holding tension in one of my favorite tension-holding places in my back, and then starting to use undulations to release that tension, and also releasing the "emotional issue" that I felt was linked to the tension spot.

It could have been any of these; all of them, or none. What I do know is that somehow, sometime, yesterday I began to move again.

Now don't get me wrong. I'd been "moving" all these past few months. A fair bit of the daily yoga and core, stretch and resistance training. Renewed long walks. And lots and lots of housecleaning and other chores.

But I hadn't been doing much dance.

I'd attributed this to having put all my energy into the Unveiling-publication.

But there was something else, a sadness that had been a part of my life over the last three years. And somehow, it released, and my body began to naturally do the "belly dance movements" once again.

That's right, I started naturally and spontaneously moving - the undulations, the figure-eights (of all sorts). The stretches, the neck movements, everything.

And I realized, once again, that the beauty of Oriental dance as a body art (in comparision with other, equally good and very valid body arts such as yoga and T'ai Chi), is that the range of movements that it gives us are fabulously superb for releasing emotional tension. They are the best movements for real body/mind/psyche integration.

That's because an Oriental dance technique, such as an undulation, corresponds to releasing tension up and down our spine. When we release emotional tension, we can release the physical. And vice versa.

So if we have even a glimmering of how the two are connected - some attention and awareness of how our bodies and our "emotional selves" work together - then when we get the slightest little release in one area, we can use the dance techniques to help us release just a little more. We use our body/mind/psyche integration pathway to leverage this release.

So, for example, a little emotional release - leads to an undulation. An undulation leads to a figure-eight. A figure-eight leads to paying attention to what we have "stuck" in our lower backs and pelvic area. And then we bring our attention to the emotional aspect, process it, and get a bit more release again physically.

And this is why I love this dance form so much!

P.S. I write about this in Chapters 14-16 of Unveiling: The Inner Journey. And in those chapters, I credit Diane Richardson, who is a Co-Founder of Relational Energetics (see http://www.relationalenergetics.com). I also suggest chiropractic and massage, and other healing modalities - Reiki is good, as are others.

How to Use the "Fountain of Youth"

The "Fountain of Youth" - The Beauty Secret That Costs Nothing (and Makes Us Look Years Younger)!

Would you like to get out of bed looking ten years younger? What if something made you look even better than having a good night's sleep, or a rousing round of early morning sex? Both sleep and sex are good; no question. But what if there was one more thing that would increase your beauty, your vigor, your vital energy, your zest, and your overall confidence and sex appeal? What if there was a single, ultimate, "anti-aging secret"?

And what if this anti-aging secret cost nothing but time?

It's just because this "costs nothing more than time" that you don't see articles about this in the major women's magazines.

We all know that today, more than ever, beauty is "big business." We know that "Baby Boomer women" in North America make up the world's demographic with the greatest disposable income. Manufacturers and marketers know this, also. That's why TV shows and women's magazines are a vehicle for advertising all manner of skin care, hair care, and beauty products. They also promote services - ranging from cosmetics customization to cosmetic surgery.

All of these are good. I have no problem with any of these, and am as interested as the next woman.

But there's one more thing - a "special something" which no one mentions. And they don't mention it simply because there's no profit margin. Your favorite plastic surgeons won't get you under the knife for this. Your favorite "medi-spa" won't book you for a bit of Botox. Revlon and Estee Lauder - and all the many other cosmetics companies - won't post greater profits to their stockholders.

The 2011 Summer-Fall issue of New Beauty magazine has articles such as "Botox Breakthroughs" and "The Secret Surgery: How to Look Years Younger in 60 Minutes or Less."

These are all good - please, I am not suggesting that we don't take advantage of each and every benefit that these advanced beauty methods offer. From spas to supplements, from hormones to yoga, from restylane to revitalizing face creams - I'm for all of them.

But let's think about a "one hour beauty treatment" that doesn't involve a surgical procedure - or even visiting your favorite masseuse.

What could we do so that, as Lord Byron said, our lips would be "roses over-washed with dew"?

This is not some arcane secret that requires a lifetime of questing, and years of esoteric study. Rather, it is practical, efficient, and learnable. Moreover, it gives us instant results. By accessing and using our very own Fountain of Youth, we increase our beauty - we actually do look years younger - without the time and cost (and potential downsides) of cosmetic surgery, injectables and lasers, and other means that are common in our current "beauty culture."

The Fountain of Youth: What It Is, What It Isn't

In Unveiling: The Inner Journey I write about the very real Fountain of Youth that any one of us can access and use. It's all in Chapter 29, "Pragmatic Esoterics." And I was practicing it this morning, just after waking up.

And yes, I did look ten years younger getting out of bed today!

P.S. Do you want instant access to this "secret"? Go to: The Fountain of Youth: It "Really Is" Real!